Half the Kidneys, Twice the Fun

I think I'll Post again

2010-09-27T21:44:00.006-06:00

Here we go. I think it is time to post again. Just for fun.

So, my sweet husband got me an awesome camera for birthday last year and I have been learning learning and shooting shooting, trying to figure it all out.....because it is my passion. And my Destiny (I have always wanted to say that something was my Destiny).

I joined a little Flickr group that, for one month, posted a picture a day. And had to relate each shot to a different letter of the alphabet each day. And then we comment one each others photos and lend advice (me not giving, mostly getting) and make everyone feel good in the end. But also learn a lot from others. It has been a busy month. I am almost done (ends on Thursday), but I post a few just for fun...

E is for End of Day

W is for Wheel

B is for Bell

P is for Peek A Boo

V is for Vein

T is for Tongue

J is for Jello

18 months....and still kickin....

2010-03-25T14:50:00.006-06:00

Hello, little boy.
No wait....You are big. And funny. You say words like Ogre and Ostrich and Bronco and you love love love the park. You say Shoes and then Park and then Fun fun fun as we skip out of the car on our way to the swings.
You love grapes and cheese. You could live on cheese alone if you absolutely had to. Or if I let you. You are a Monkey (ooo-ooo-aaah-aaah) and climb on everything. You love Elmo and carry him around in your hand. You love to watch Robbert Bobbert on the Youtube and call the computer "Apple"......(wish we really had an Apple).

You have a little bike and you like to ring the bell. Or Belmo, as Elmo would say. And you LOVE Shrek. If you could, you would watch Shrek all the day long.

You know the sounds the animals make. You use your little pointer finger A. Lot. You are a bit of a prankster and love to wrestle anyone who is laying on the ground. You beg to be tickled and you love to blow bubbles. You are crazy about bubbles. And you are really really good at popping them. You love balls. You love to say "basket ball", and dad hopes it will turn into "football" really soon....You know that cars go VROOOOM and the Sheep says BAAA...You give everyone fives when you leave school.....And you get really sad when other people are sad. If you bonk your head you are sure to show me what caused the pain, and sometimes you reinact it...

You love your dad. You guys are the best of buds and it is the sweetest thing to see....

I love you little Monkey!!!

Love,

Mama

2009: Review in Photos

2010-01-01T13:21:00.009-07:00

Hey...I know you! Welcome back....

Here is what you've missed while you were away, worrying about other things, you know, other than why I hadn't posted...

(caution: might make your heart explode. I am totally not responsible for that)

January 2009: Junior Birdman learned how to get more and more chunky. And possibly cuter (how?) AND he started a very competitive Gigantic Caterpillar Wrestling career.
February 2009: First solid foods. Hasn't slowed down since. (look at those arms!)

March 2009: Face-Melting Cuteness: Achieved April 2009: Finally started pulling his weight around the house. About time. (that joke never gets old)

May 2009: First airplane trip! Did great on the plane and had an amazing time wowing my side of the family with his impressive Army Crawling skills.

June 2009: Junior Birdman receives his Third Official Haircut. Or should I say Hair Cute? ha! (I may be a wee bit more cheesy since the Birdman came into my life)

July 2009: Junior Birdman wows the ladies with his book collection, and ability to slobber on demand, and crawl like a real man.

Acting SO nonchalant. It is his "thing".

August 2009: The Birdman learned that dirt=gross, played with Grandpa Jensen's beard (last picture with him), and perfected his "cool guy look" for the aforementioned "ladies"

September 2009: One Year Old! Grandma K came to visit and we had a serious backyard Par-Tay, complete with a fever and unidentified rash ...AND he showed everyone what it REALLY means to be a Bronco fan.

October 2009: Junior Birdman as Yoda. The End. AND convinced us to buy him two little goats and put them in our backyard.

November 2009: Confirmed his love for apples. A lot of apple eating in November.

December 2009: Presents! Christmas! Fun! and Birdman ventured into the snow for the very first time!

Well, there you have it. A complete recap! Hooray!

Expect more excitement tomorrow, when I return with " What has Birdman been carrying around lately?"

just...can't...do...it.....

2009-03-27T08:58:00.002-06:00

I tried. I tried and tried. My husband tried and tried. But Birdman just cried and cried. Then my heart broke. Into a million pieces.
Therefore, this whole "let them cry it out through the night and they'll be sleeping like angels in no time" experiment is on hold. Until further notice. P.S.: No one dares tell you how incredibly grumpy the children are the next day and the next and the next.....they have conveniently left that part out!
That being said, the Birdman is doing fantastic! He is darling, and fun. Rolling to and fro. Playing like crazy. I will do a Five and Six Month update this weekend. It will be full of rolling, food, words, walking, reading....I bet you can't wait!!

Tagged Twice in Two Days!

2009-02-08T13:35:00.004-07:00

Okay, I have been tagged by RCH and Melissa to do the following:

1. Go to my documents/pictures.
2. Go to my 6th file folder.
3. Go to my 6th picture.
4. Blog about it.
5. Tag 6 people to do the same.

Thanksgiving 2008 was a memorable one: Juniors first! We went to Grandma J's house the Sunday before Thanksgiving where all of her kids and grandkids congregated for turkey, ham, and a memorable Yam-a-rama.

This is Junior Birdman with Aunt Jodi. Aunt Jodi is one of the funnest people alive, and although she didn't win the Yam-a-rama this year, you can bet she'll make the showing of a lifetime next year. She can make JBM laugh like nobody's business. And cry. But that is a story for another day.

I tag the first six people who read this to do this!!

Three and Four Months Old~

2009-02-04T20:33:00.001-07:00

Dear Junior Birdman,

WOW. Mom totally missed the boat on a few things, namely filling you in on your life for months three and four. I decided I had to post this before you turn Five Months Old in One Week, or else...I can't squish the last exciting month in with these other ones.....

These have been great months. I went back to work after you turned three months old. It was a rough time, but luckily you have been great and everyone that is taking care of you absolutely loves you! The main thing people say when they see you is "Look At All That Hair". We are having some onsies printed with that motto on them.... You are such a good baby. People always ask me how you are and I always reply "perfect". You are the best baby a mama could ask for.

I have re-written this letter a few times, trying to decide what exactly I want these to be. At first I thought: oh! I will update everyone on everything that is going on in the last month. But it gets harder and harder as you get older and learn and grow more. And then I can't decide what to leave out, and what to put in a regular post versus just write my love and dad's love for you....so basically I will just lay out what is in my heart, what my joys and hopes are for you and thoughts I have as you grow.....so basically, they will be pretty cheesy....Hold on to your hats, people.

Daddy spends Mondays with you, and although you gave him a run for his money that first Monday, you guys are the best pals now. Daddy spent two whole weeks with you around Christmas and had a blast reading books, playing with blocks and Dad even taught you your first trick: Grabbing Things! He called me and said "Birdman has a new trick!" and I was so excited all day to see what it was! And then you were Grabbing Things. I was so proud of you!! I will probably pee my pants when you start walking...

You have started to grab things on purpose, suck on your fingers/fist/anything within range, you do really well with tummy time and you started to LAUGH!!! Your laugh is THE BEST baby laugh in all the land. A good game of Peek A Boo will really get you going and it warms my heart when you smile when I come home from work!

I am so glad you are my baby. I often think back to what life was like without you. Not because I miss the freedom, the uninterrupted sleep, the ability to go anywhere, etc., but to analyze why we didn't see the big gaping hole in our lives that you fill up so perfectly. I honestly do not know what we did without you here. But I am so glad you are here and would never wish for anything different in my life.

Sometimes I wonder how my heart can fit so much love into it. I look at you, your little baby mullet, or wide bright eyes, your smile, I listen to your laugh, and pinch your chubby little thighs and think about how much I love you. And how much I love your Dad, and how much I love our little family, which you made complete, and how much I love listening to you sleep, and how much I love hugging you and holding you and watching you learn, and I think: Can my heart take much more? My life and heart are full.

Love,
Mama

4 Month Appointment

2009-01-29T20:14:00.002-07:00

Well. The Birdman turned 4 months old. Two weeks ago. But we didn't go to the doctor until Monday, because she was out of town, and we love her.

She was VERY impressed with JBM. She turned him on his tummy and he promptly rolled over! He laughed and smiled and grabbed things. And she said "oh, he is doing 6 month things!!". Of course we were so very proud.

He also had his weigh in!
Weight: 17 pounds, 12 ounces (95%)
Height: 25 inches (55%)
Head: 44 cm (95%)

He is more Round than Long, but hey, what's a kid to do that just sits around and eats, and rolls over every now and then?

Mad Hair

2009-01-17T18:13:00.003-07:00

Post Nap:

Tummy Time

2009-01-01T10:08:00.004-07:00

Birdman likes Tummy Time. For about a minute.

Then his head gets too heavy for his toothpick neck.

Here are some recent pictures from a few episodes of:Tummy Time with Junior Birdman.

PS: I think his eyes will be BLUE!!

The Loot

2008-12-27T18:49:00.006-07:00

Birdman's first Christmas was exciting and fun! He tore into the packages with unabashed excitement. He ate candy like it was the last sugar on earth. He woke up early screaming Santa Claus is Coming To Town at the top of his lungs...

Not really. He actually slept in to a leisurely 8:30 am (due to the egg nog the night before) and then sat around with a cute expression as we opened his gifts.

Here is the damage:

Clothes and a Lightning McQueen from Grandpa and Grandma M., Books from cousins and Grandpa and Grandma J, A fancy 2 dollar bill, Additional Cash for his 529 savings plan from Aunties, Uncles, and Grandpa and Grandma K (college! never too early to plan), some sweet Teddy Ruxpin books and tapes for dad's old Teddy Ruxpin (Grandma J searched high and low for on the black market), some toys from cousins, and a Sweet Stokke high chair from us. He made out like a bandit.
Here he is sitting in his new high chair (he is still a few months off from using it regularly) And here it is pushed up to the table. Birdman told us he wanted it so he can sit at the table with us and use it for years to come. What a Smart Young Man.

He has a special message for everyone:

Merry Christmas,

Love Junior Birdman (we're working on his originality)

The First Run In

2008-12-23T21:29:00.003-07:00

Saturday we took Junior Birdman to see Santy Claus at Macy's. It was a joyous meeting, as evidenced in the picture below.

Birdman whispered all of the desires of his heart into the bearded man's ear (mainly things about "more food" and "less work") and Mr. Claus responded with a Ho Ho Ho and Merry See You Next Year When You Know What The Heck is Really Going On.

8's

2008-12-17T15:16:00.004-07:00

I got Tagged. finally!! I have been waiting and waiting for a tag. Hooray for tagging....

Here is my tag: Things of 8. Or as I have renamed the blog: Things of Eight That No One Really Wants to Know, But I am Telling You Anyway.

8 TV Shows I Watch
Disclaimer: When I was home with Junior Birdman, I watched a fair amount of the tube while he was sleeping....
1. The Office
2. I have a sick addiction to America's Next Top Model
3. I HAD a sick addiction to Jon and Kate Plus Eight. Mainly because Hello Sextuplets!!! Then I got over it.
4. Little People Big World (They are Little People in a Big World....the title alone!)
5. Cash Cab. I can't get enough of this one!!! I Love it!
6. Iron Chef. Wow. The Replays! The Secret Ingredient! The Judges faces!!
7. Ace of Cakes. I don't catch this one very often, but AM-A-Zing. I can hardly frost a cake..
8. The Ellen DeGeneres Show. Funny. Hilarious. Games. Dunking people in the Dunking Booth! Fun times had by all

8 Things that Happened Yesterday
1. Dropped Birdman off at Day Care. (insert sad, forlorn sigh here)
2. Went to a presentation on an Electronic Document Management System. For Five Hours.
3. Went to the Doctor
4. Drank two pints of Chocolate Milk (not at the same time)
5. Made Quesedilla's out of the Taco makin's from Sunday
6. Picked Birdman Up from Day Care (Insert Joyful, elated, happy dance here)
7. Snuggled with Birdman after work and before dinner
8. Gave Birdman a bath and laughed because he only kicks and splashes with his right foot.

8 Favorite Places to Eat
1. Chili's...I don't know why, but I love it.
2. The Ram
3. Ono (Hawaiian and absolutely fabulous)
4. Rita's House or The Gilettley's House (not restaurants but some Kick @#$ cooks from Toronto/the mission
5. Texas Roadhouse
6. White Water Pizza
7. The Brick Oven Bistro (lovingly referred to as The Beanery)
8. George's Deli

8 Things I Look Forward To
1. Everyday: Holding Junior Birdman in my arms at the end of the day
2. Everyday: Seeing my Honey come home
3. Getting some Shut Eye
4. Paying off the car and student loan
5. Having a Conversation with my son.
6. My Anniversary!! Saturday!!
7. When My Brain will come back from being Pregnant
8. Building New Traditions

8 Things on My Wishlist
1. To Be A Great Mom
2. Gift Cards to Borders. Like Forever
3. New Shoes
4. To Be Content
5. Time to make Jewelry
6. Time with my little family
7. To remember every moment with Junior Birdman
8. 8 more wishes

8 people I tag...if you haven't already done it...
Mar, Kaintie, Tara, Ken, Becky, Rachael, Melissa, Anyone else who reads this???
If you do it, leave a comment on this blog that you did so I can read it!
Kisses....

Sadness...

2008-12-01T14:27:00.002-07:00

It is SO hard being such a tiny baby....

Quirky, I am Not

2008-11-26T13:12:00.005-07:00

So, my sister tagged me to write 6 quirky things about myself, and in my search, nay, my quest to find some quirky things, I have discovered that I am quirkily UN-quirky. My Husband and I were driving to Twin Falls, Idaho, and on the way I was brainstorming my quirks.

Unfortunately, the TWO things I came up with, my sisters have already listed as quirks on their blogs: 1) Before I go to bed, the covers, pillows, sheets, etc., all have to be perfectly made. And the Husband cannot mess up my side or I get very upset and I can't sleep well. and 2) When I take a shower I have to do the same things in the same order: Shampoo, Condition, Wash the Body, Wash the Face, Brush the Teeth, Rinse the Body, Rinse the Hair.

That is it. My two quirks> that apparently are shared in my family, so who knows if they are really quirks?

I tried for Days! I would walk up to my Husband and say "what about blah blah blah", and he would look at me with a bit of sadness in his eyes and say "Honey, that isn't that quirky" That must have happened twenty times.

He on the other hand, plenty of quirks. P-L-E-N-T-Y. I will share a few in this post:
1) He constantly checks to see if his wallet is in his back pocket. Not like one or two times a day, but constantly. When we go to the movie theatre, during the movie he will check upwards to twenty times to ensure it is in his pocket.
2) If he irons in the morning, and knows that he turned it off and unplugged it, he has been known, more than once, to drive home from work to double check that it is unplugged. Even if he knows.
3) He can quote the entire Wizard of Oz
4) If, when watching a movie, there is any dust on the TV or Lamp, etc, he has to get up and clean it, which leads to cleaning something else, and so on and so on...
5) Eats his potato chips with ketchup
6) Some fabrics have been declared "drying" by him....fleece, micro suede, etc, and cannot be tolerated.

So, there you go. Because I am unquirky, i.e, Boring, I had to cheat and use him.
I tag the two people that read my blog....

Two Months Old!

2008-11-15T11:37:00.004-07:00

Dear Junior Birdman,
What a great month! You are getting so big. Gigantic is what I call you most of the time, because you seem so gigantic to me! When I hold you in my arms, Dad will look at you and say "he is getting so big". It is true. You are growing by leaps and bounds. Mostly growing in a Round way, around the middle area. You grow out of your clothes so fast! We bought you some "real pants", instead of the staple of your wardrobe: Sweat Pants with Elastic waistbands and we should have bought the next size up, because when we put them on you and buttoned the button, your pudge spilled over the sides in a newborn muffin top....it was cute! But also alarming that you are gaining weight so fast and furious. (We went to the doc for your two month check up: 90% for Height and 95% for Weight!)
You love to eat. You never miss a meal, that is for sure. And you go from zero to STARVING in five seconds. At night, if I don't feed you fast enough, you start freaking out sometimes, and won't settle down enough to realize that you can eat.....But, really, that is the only time you really "freak out". You started smiling this month!! We were so excited to see you move your smile from during your sleeping hours to actually smiling. At Us. While you are awake. It is the sweetest smile. You smile with your eyes, like your dad. You still laugh in your sleep, and I can't wait for you to laugh on purpose. You also started mimicking me a little bit, if I stick my tongue out, you'll do the same. You are sleeping better. 7 to 8 hours at a time. It is glorious. Now. When you first started sleeping for longer periods, I couldn't handle it. I kept waking up, checking on you, listening to you on the monitor, wondering if you were okay. In the last week or so, I have been able to sleep for longer periods and not worry about you as much. You met your aunts and uncles from the Kieffer side this month. Sadly, my grandmother passed away, and we traveled to Utah for her funeral. You were the star of the show, and I have fully accepted the fact that it will no longer be exciting for them to see ME, but you will forever be the excitement. That is okay, because they LOVE you. My cousin, Diana took some awesome pictures of our family, and of you...they turned out fantastic (some of her photos are featured here and her photo blog is here)/

Unfortunately, you also got your first bug while we were there. You got a cold and haven't felt good for about 2 weeks now. I totally freaked out that first night, worried to death about you, as you stopped breathing due to the snot build up. You still aren't feeling very good, and this cold has gone through the house. But, even though you are sick, you are still a happy, sweet baby.

One of my favorite times of the day with you is the morning, when you are taking your morning nap. We cuddle and I look at you and you are so peaceful. I can't imagine that you were in my belly. Life with you feels natural. Perfect.

Love,
Mama

Favorite Baby Stuff: Installment #1

2008-11-09T20:37:00.007-07:00

I am working on the 2nd Month of Junior Birdman's life update, but it is still in the making. Instead, I will share with you a few of my favorite things for babies:

#1: The Miracle Blanket

This blanket is the ultimate swaddler. We did okay with receiving blankets, but this blanket makes it so much easier. Birdman likes to be swaddled at night, it helps him sleep. And this blanket has flaps for his arms, a pouch for his feet, and extra material that goes all around his middle. I LOVE this. After he puked on it on the second night home, and we had to do the laundry in the middle of the night, we went and bought a second one. Since Week 6, Birdman has been sleeping about 7-8 hours per night! This blanket makes the whole swaddling process So Much Easier. Instead of the blankets coming loose, we strap him into this little straight jacket, and he loves it...and we love it too. And he sleeps good. And we love it even more because of that.

#2: The BOB

I love love love this stroller. It has the smoothest ride, mad shocks and is fun to take out and use. I can take it anywhere, to the mall, outside, hiking (if I wanted to)...but it is amazing. The front wheel unlocks and swivels, so I can take it inside stores with the greatest of ease. It has a big shade, and an attachment for our car seat. I went on a walk with another mom the other day, she had a Travel System Stroller, and I was really glad that we purchased the BOB. It is Awesome....folds down a bit big, but it is easy to fold and unfold and it is fun fun fun.

#3: Diaper Caddy
I Love this diaper caddy. We tote it all around the house. Since we two levels at our house, it is nice to be able to tote around all of the things we need from upstairs to downstairs. It has a little drawer that we keep his fingernail clippers, nursing pads, thermometer etc. in.

#4: The Sleepy Wrap

PS: This picture is not of me.....

Of all the carriers that are out there: Slings, Pouches, Bjorns, etc. I LOVE this one. I have a sling and a Bjorn, but the Sleepy Wrap is so comfortable. It doesn't hurt my back, and I am comfortable going "hands free". And I get a lot of compliments on it. I was a little apprehensive at first, because it is a long piece of material I have to wrap around my body like I am a mummy, but I think it is the best thing out there. Junior likes it too. He usually falls right asleep on our little walks.

Darn you Bulb Syringe!!

2008-11-05T11:26:00.007-07:00

This is the bane of my, Junior Birdmans, and my Darling Husband's existence right now....Junior Birdman is fighting off a cold, and I have to suck the snot out of his nose every five minutes. And he yells and screams and it makes me so sad....

Our Tiny Pirate: tRiCk Or TrEaTiNg footage!

2008-11-03T20:32:00.003-07:00

Our tiny Pirate

2008-11-03T14:52:00.002-07:00

aaaarrrrggghhhh...remember when I was a waitress and I would tell the patrons Pirate Jokes, in hope to get bigger tips...well, that never happened, but Gram was a little Pirate for Halloween...and I very handsome one at that....and scary....aaaarrgghhhhh....

One Month Old

2008-10-16T10:38:00.005-06:00

Dear Junior Birdman....

I know, weird that we call you that. We have called you that since you first came home....you know, like "Where's Junior Birdman?" "Oh, he's in his room, reading a book" or "Hey, have you seen Junior Birdman?" "Oh, he's online again, researching colleges"...

I want to start documenting your progress by the month. So, I am late for this month...but I regret not doing more documentation when you were in my belly, so I really want to make up for it here.

Being your mom has really been amazing. And crazy, different, insane, and rewarding. I remember saying in my Prenatal Water Aerobics class: I can take such good care of him now, inside my belly, but when he comes out, what the heck do I do? Well, I quickly found out that the answers are inside. And it just comes naturally as I look at your sweet face.....

This month you have made a lot of progress....like, learning how to eat. Wow that was painful. But I think we have a hang of it now, and it works pretty good! If I don't immediately read your hunger cues and take care of business, you freak out. You get that from me. So I totally understand why hunger=total freak out. You LOVE your food. Which is definitely reflected in the fact that you are chubbing RIGHT OUT. You wore Newborn clothes for the first few weeks. Then all of the sudden you started gaining weight and busted out of those. You are definitely getting Roundish! At your five day check up, you weighed 8 lbs. One Week Later: 8 lbs, 13 ozs. 13 ozs. in ONE WEEK. It is expected for newborns to gain 6 ozs a week. You are totally The Newborn Valedictorian of Weight Gain.

And you follow us with your eyes now. It is fun to see you interact with us a bit, since most of the time you are sleeping....

Sleeping: You do that really really well. You are a NOISY sleeper. So LOUD. Grunting and groaning and sighing. We swaddle you at night, and my favorite part of the morning is when we unwrap you and you take ten minutes to stretch. You throw your little arms above your head and S-T-R-E-T-C-H your little heart out. We used to take naps together in the morning on my bed for a few weeks, but I can't nap anymore because you are so loud....sometimes I put my hand on your belly so you know I am close and you usually quiet down. I like to think it is because you know I am there, but I think it just distracts you from whatever you are dreaming about and grunting at.

You hold your head up like a champ. If I hold you upright on my chest and you aren't feeling restfull, you will hold your head up and look at me, or look around.

You like Tummy Time. You like to eat. You like to be cuddled. I love Cuddling you and couldn't put you down for the first week I had you all to myself. I just sat on the couch and cuddled you. Your little chair or swing didn't see much action that week. I barely got a shower.

Your grandparents LOVE YOU. On both sides. They love to hold you and kiss you and love you. Your Grandma and Grandpa Kieffer came to visit after you were born and they couldn't get enough of you! How can you blame them? Grandma Jensen loves you so much and misses you and Grandpa Millard just holds you and looks and looks and looks at you....You are definitely the star of the show and I have learned, it isn't about me any longer.

You are the best baby. I am so excited to be your mama. And, as I keep telling you "Mama Loves You".

Love,

Mama

Welcome Junior Birdman

2008-10-16T10:10:00.003-06:00

Well, he came. It was awesome. It has been awesome. It is awesome. Five weeks later, I am totally in love with the little guy.

I don't know how anyone gets anything done. I just want to stare at him and cuddle him EVERY SINGLE MINUTE....

We affectionately refer to him as Junior Birdman. I don't really know why, exactly, but that is what I will refer to him on this website, as to protect his anonymity. You know, from stalkers and the like.

Here are some pictures:

Right after they yanked him from my belly...

A few hours old, after his first bath....

At home, a few days old...

One week old...

Two Weeks Old...

Now he is chubbier...more on that tomorrow.

Light at the End of the Tunnel

2008-09-08T16:54:00.003-06:00

It is This Thursday. That is D Day.....

We went to the doc today. I am at 4 cm. Which is great, but come on baby, L-E-T-S-G-O Let's Go Let's Go! I had a minor breakdown this weekend about him not coming.

Now, I know you are thinking, as is EVERYONE "you aren't due until tomorrow" And that is why I promptly punch you in the nose.

Three weeks ago, I was at a 2 and the doc said, hmmmm, I bet you won't make it 2 weeks.
2 weeks later she says (on Thursday) wow, you are at a 3.5, I bet you won't make it past the weekend.
It is the anticipation and excitement and let down that is killing me. Because I thought for sure he would be here by now. Especially with medical expertise backing that up!

That and everyone at work saying such helpful things like "WOW you are STILL here?" and "I didn't expect to see you here this late" and "How are you feeling, besides Huge". Well, I will tell you how I am feeling: Like filliping the bird to anyone that says things like: "Oh, with a boy, you could have two more weeks" or "I was stuck at 2 cm for like 3 or 4 weeks" or "I thought you would have been done by now" or "Have you dropped? I don't think you have", or the sweet old bag in the elevator that asked if I was having twins. Twins. I took her cane and hit her in the knee.

Anyhoo, we scheduled an induction on Thursday if nothing happens before then. I would be totally freaking out if I didn't have that bright spot of hope in my life....

Here's to Gram and Thursday: L-E-T-S-G-O!

Smugglin Pumpkins

2008-09-04T09:38:00.002-06:00

My sister asked me if I was bigger in the belly area than when she was visiting in July.

I should say so....

Oh and another thing....

2008-09-03T16:17:00.004-06:00

Feel a bit weird about riding around with an empty carseat in my car.
So, in order for that carseat to be filled, here are Things I've Been Doing to Get This Kid Moving:

1. We went on a long #$% walk the other day along the lovely Boise Greenbelt. Most of the reason it ended up being about two miles, is we were looking for a bathroom, and instead of turing back, said to ourselves: There has to be one around this bend. There was, a mile later.....so more walking, I think...right?

2. Sitting on The Ball. Rumor has it this will help. So far, I have just been bouncing around.

3. Eating Spicy Foods. Do Chili's Boneless Buffalo Wings count?

4. Getting a Pedicure. I got a sweet gift card to a local spa and am going to get the Deluxe Floating Feather Pedicure. Here is the Divine Description:

Deluxe Floating Feather® Pedicure: 75-minute treatment. This ultimate pedicure starts off with a relaxing foot soak and includes nail grooming, cuticle maintenance, and oil massage of the cuticles. An exfoliating scrub is rubbed on the feet and the calves followed by an extended foot massage. The feet are then dipped into a paraffin wax followed by a foot mask. This refreshing treatment is finished with a polish application.
Sounds Divine to me. I will let you know how that goes!

5. I finished things at work that were hanging over my head. FINISHED I said. The stress should be gone, no? PS I even went into work late today. And left early (mainly due to paint fumes and did not want to get the child high before he even comes into this world).

6. There are "other" ways, but I will not post about them, as I know you are all innocent. Not saying we have tried them or anything, just sayin....

Any ideas out there??

Is he ever coming???

2008-09-03T12:20:00.001-06:00

That is my question for the day.
I don't think he is.
I think I am stuck being pregnant for the rest of my life.
And huge.

Ankles: What the hey?

2008-07-22T14:46:00.002-06:00

We went to a concert last night.

Great music.

Lots of standing.

Lots.

During this pregnancy, my ankles and feet have stayed REALLY close to regular size. Surprisingly.

Then this week, they decided to start to swell a bit here and there. Then last night, post-concert they looked like this:

Please notice how my knees are "normal". Then my ankles are like twice the size. That is exactly what it looked like. My shoes BARELY came off. With a bit of Pam. And a bit of tugging.

Pregnancy PERKS

2008-07-16T09:21:00.006-06:00

There are a few perks to being pregnant.

I read in a magazine that one lady told her husband that the smell of dishwashing detergent made her sick while she was pregnant, so she couldn't do the dishes. I haven't gone that far.

A few perks:

Everyone thinks you look cute, even though you resemble a whale

You can wear the same clothes in a week, because everyone understands that you just don't want to buy that many prego clothes

People look at you and smile

Sometimes they hold the door for you, or carry heavy things for you, or offer you a chair, or water. Only offer you water, and no one else in your group. Ahh the joy!

But the best perk? Chili's Salsa.

After swimming class, sometimes I cruise by Chili's and get some chips and salsa. I don't know where else you can get a bag of chips and some salsa for $2.99. Plus, I LOVE the stuff. I just get it to go and then pig out. A few times that I have called, I have asked for extra salsa, and said "it's because I am pregnant and I LOVE it. I will even pay more for extra salsa". They usually just give me an extra tub or two.

On Monday when I called, I said, I am pregnant and I love the stuff. This was the conversation that ensued between Andrew, the Holder of Salsa, and I:

-I Love your Salsa. I am pregnant and I need an order to go. Stat.

- Oh great. That is so awesome. Babies are great. How far along are you?

-About 32 weeks. Now...about this salsa thing....

-Wow. My wife had a baby last year and she loved Chili's Black Beans and Queso Dip. We have an 8 month old. She is the cutest thing and so much fun....

- Cool. Wow. Back to me and my needs. I LOVE the salsa and can't get enough. I need some to go, but can I get extra? Like a LOT of extra? And a Straw. Or just a straight IV into my arm?

-Of course, crazy pregnant woman.

This is what was waiting for me when I arrived:

Yes, each tub was individually labled for each month:

Viva la Chili's!

Gigantic Proportions

2008-07-08T12:20:00.002-06:00

I have reached a milestone. Hugeness

Mowin Green

2008-07-02T09:03:00.004-06:00

Our new house has the cutest lawn. It is tiny. And perfect.

We came from a rental house, where the lawn went on as far as the eye could see and we spent mad money trying to keep that thing alive. Kyle spent hours mowing, and watering, and re-positioning the water spickets to ensure optimal coverage. But to no avail. I took a chunk of that dastardly lawn to Zamzows, a local Grass, Flower, and Pet store. Cause "Nobody Knows Like Zamzows" and the dude said "huh, this is carpet grass. Basically, if it gets too hot, it kills itself, then reseeds." Turns out, our suicidal lawn was sick of the heat and dying off, no matter how much water we put on it.

We walked by that house the other day. It is up for sale, no one lives in it and the lawn looks HORRIBLE, so we beat our fists against our chests, and cried a lot for the money we poured down the drain for the last two summers. C'est La Vie.

Onto our new lawn: Hooray! It is only about 700 square feet TOTAL. It is tiny and perfect and cute. A bit patchy, but I can live with that!!!

Kyle's dad gave us his old lawn mower after we moved in:

He was so nice. He spent hours cleaning and oiling that thing. Even cut his finger in the process. It worked one week. Then stopped working the next week. So we cruised to Home Depot and got a Reel Mower. With no motor. Just pure push power. We are SO going Green.......

When Kyle mows with it, the neighbors all look at him with wonder. And I am just glad our lawn is so cute. And tiny. And perfect.

Ole One Kidney

2008-06-25T15:28:00.004-06:00

So, yes, once upon a time 11 years ago today, I got my kidney ripped out of my body, and it was placed gently into my sister's body. Hence the motto of my blog: Half the Kidneys, Twice the Fun. It was an experience full of fun, craziness, and lots of presents (thanks everyone for all the presents). The nurses ripped me out of bed 12 hours after being sliced in half to weigh me. I got a sweet 9 inch scar. The Dean of Students at my college called me every Wednesday to see how I was doing. I got a nice bottle of pills to take home with me. Thanks to cable, I could watch 3 hours of 90210, straight. Every time I stood up, I could feel all of my insides swishing around trying to find a new home. I slept a lot. Oh, and my sister got to pee again. So that was good. No, that was great. She didn't puke nearly as much anymore and she actually got real color in her cheeks, not that crap from CoverGirl she would swipe on her face. That was the best part.

But the second best part? The drugs right before the surgery. They put this epidural in me. Then shot it full of some happy koolaid. I was higher than high. It was feeling good. I had no idea what was about to hit me. There is a picture of me and Kathryn right before surgery. It was after I had the sweet elixir of morphine, and before Kathryn had any drugs. The picture looks a lot like this:

Hope your (or technically, mine) kidney has 11 more years of fun and sassiness, sis!

Bathing Suit

2008-06-17T09:36:00.003-06:00

For my Prenatal Water Aerobics class, I have been wearing the ghetto-est get-up available. Partly because I am cheap. And partly because I haven't had the heart to buy a new swimsuit until I got a bit bigger....and knew it would fit the whole time.

The Old Outfit: A shiny black, hideous WalMart special that was like 12 bucks and is now stretched to the max, paired with a lovely pair of Carolina Blue Boy Boardshorts from Old Navy that I have had for probably 10 years now....I think I took them to Mexico in 1998....

I took a picture the other dayLately, because the belly have gotten big, pulling up the swim suit has involved a lot of deep squats and odd contortions in the changing room. The Shorts now cannot be enclosed with the velcro enclosure, and I have to roll down the top of the shorts a few times, secure with some crazy boy scout knot on the ties, and hop in the pool really quick to avoid being seen by anyone I work with (did I mention these classes take place at my place of work??? How insane am I, really?)

The New Swimsuit: I got bottoms from one store (a skirt with bottoms attached) and a top from another, and when I mentioned that to my lovely husband, he said :I don't understand, you had to buy two parts at two different stores???. I know....

So I took this picture of me in my new swim suit:

Hooray for modern photo taking!

I don't really know why I am smiling. I guess just smiling through the pain.....Today will be the first time I wear it in the pool. I hope it stays on and doesn't fly off my body, but with my luck, you never know.....

Wake Up Calls: Two in one week.

2008-06-09T11:08:00.003-06:00

So I got a wake up call in my hotel this week when I was in Nashville. That was exciting, as my morning voice sounded kind of like a witch and the lady hung up really fast so I couldn't cast a spell on her.

But the other wake up call I got? The more exciting and slightly depressing one? Saturday Kyle and I were walking downtown, cruising around and I caught a glimpse of myself in the huge window of a store, walking down the street, like from the side.

This is what it looked like, like this could be a real picture I took that day it is so life like: (mind you, this is really the first time I have seen myself in action, from a side view)

Swimming Lessons

2008-05-15T09:19:00.002-06:00

So I decided to be proactive in this whole "Can't Fit Into My Clothes Anymore" thing and take some prenatal exercise classes. This week I started a round of Water Aerobics for the Pregnant and Huge Feeling Whale-Like Lady. Hooray!! I am going Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday and I might even sign up for Prenatal Yoga and really rock out my body. Hooray...

Sidenote: Funnily enough, I thought I would feel better about buying a maternity swimsuit than a regular swimsuit (which I have a massive allergic reaction to each and every time~ha). I was wrong. I still had the allergic reaction which involved something like watery eyes, crying and hyperventilating.

So it is fun. The ladies are all pregnant and look all cute and fun and I just look on the chubby side (I know you are all thinking "but it is for a good reason, you are growing a little baby inside of you, it is CUTE"...I know I know I know...but it is still hard and Kyle is still getting sick of me saying "Do you think I am still cute? huh? Do you? Today more than yesterday? or less than yesterday??? huh huh huh????" Hopefully he'll make it through this whole thing still in love with me and hopefully I will make it through an evening at home without falling asleep at 8:15. We'll see.

Pregnancy: Weeks 21 and 22

2008-05-12T09:07:00.005-06:00

Oh dear, this has been a more eventful two weeks than all of the other weeks combined

1. Found out we are having a Boy....hooray!!

2. Decided on NOT calling it Bruce anymore, out of fear that it will stick, which we NEVER intended...

3. After the UltraSound, Skeletor is a much more appropriate name..See what I mean?

The doctor came into the room after the US and really didn't have much to say....because so far he is PERFECT!!

4. Celebrated my first mothers day for real, kind of for real at least!

5. Grew THREE inches in ONE week. What???? THREE INCHES~!!!! What kind of insanity is that????

6. Still keeping the impending name choices for Skeletor a secret and it is KILLING our moms...sorry moms! We love you still!!! They are good names, you don't have to worry.

7. Speaking of names...You can comment on potential names! That would be rad. We are having a hard time, and have whittled it down to three or four, but still aren't sold on any of them....

8. Got a mattress for the crib. Organic filled so little Skeletor won't be sleeping on formaldehyde soaked cotton.

9. Back at "fighting weight" as the doc called it....

10. Discovered that people patting my growing belly isn't as cute as they think it is.

Recap: Week 20

2008-05-01T12:40:00.002-06:00

Hungry hungry Hippo.
Little bit of Rage.
Hungry.
Threw up for the first time!
Haven't felt little Bruce move yet.
Starting to show more.
Not as sleepy, but still sleepy.
More anxiety.
Looked into Day Cares. Got depressed.
More Hungry.

Goodbye, Old Friend

2008-04-28T10:46:00.005-06:00

To some of you, it may come as a shock that this weekend, I said goodbye to an old friend

And hello to a new one:

It was a good 20 years, wasn't it?

Sweetest Girl Ever

2008-04-25T11:58:00.002-06:00

Last time I was at Kyle's sister's house, Iwas sitting with the nieces and nephews and we were talking about things I would need for Bruce (my favorite toy mentioned : a three car train that hooks together and moves around the floor) and names for Bruce if it was a girl or boy. Before I left, I told them I needed them to continue to brainstorm names.

Maddy, my 8 year old niece totally took it to heart. Kyle and I cruise over to visit last night and Maddy had done the follwing:

1. Kept a running list on a piece of paper of Boy and Girl names, polling her family and friends for good names.

2. Handed each member of her 2nd grade class a white square of paper and polled them for names too. They each (mostly) wrote down and girl and boy name. She is SO thoughtful! Example: One of her cousins fell from her bedroom window and broke some bones. Maddy also had her class make the cousin Get Well Cards and mailed them to her.

Sweet and thoughtful Maddy.

In honor of Mother Earth and Babies

2008-04-22T11:35:00.003-06:00

We saw this book at Fred Meyer the other day, and I want it: It talks all about how to raise your baby in a more organic environment, as well as has hot tips on cool baby gear etc. Maybe one day I will get it....or just rent it from the library....

The High Chair

2008-04-15T10:31:00.005-06:00

As I am with child, I get a lot of unsolicited advice. Like, "Oh you are going to HATE being pregnant in the summer", and "Wow, your life is NEVER going to be the same", or like my NP said at my last check up appt, while listening to the heartbeat and trying to discount the old wives tale that Girls Have Faster HeartBeats, said "It's only 50 percent accurate". I was like, really? 50?

So, basically I am saying, I am used to it. I am going to post some products I am interested in looking into further for Little Bruce, and all I can say is Bring On the Advice...let me know what you like/dislike etc.

First: The High Chair. This is the one I want. I don't think I can be persuaded in any other direction, so here goes;

The Stokke Tripp Trapp High Chair.
I am really excited about this high chair because of the following reasons:

1. The kid can sit at the table. With everyone else.

2. The Seat and Foot rest are adjustable and can grow with Little Bruce so s/he is comfy when eating.

3. It is compact. This suits our house very nicely, as our house will not really work with a big rolly polly high chair.

4. It comes in an array of FUN colors. and you can get different cushions in different colors for added comfort and cuteness..

5. You can only use it at about 6 months and up, when they are sitting up on their own, but that is AOK with me.

Well....what do you think? I saw this in a magazine probalby three years ago and cut the picture out and pasted in one of my blank books, knowing I wanted it for my littles one day. Hooray for Germans!

Pregnancy: Weeks up to 17

2008-04-07T15:45:00.003-06:00

Maybe I will start posting about my thoroughly exciting pregnancy... as SO much has happned (not really) I will give you the best highlights of the past 17 weeks:

Am really hungry all the time, like I have a tapeworm, but, nope, just an energy sucking organism feeding off of my body.
Haven't been sick at all (knock on wood). It has been a pretty easy pregnancy so far, and I have lost about 8 pounds since week 6, mainly due to eating better all around)
There was some Pregio Rageio (that means Rage...it didn't type the way I heard it in my brain)- about weeks 13 through 15, but thankfully we made it through alive and I am still married.
Heard the heartbeat, which I was thankful for, because sometimes I am like, huh, really? there is something in there? Today it was beating fast and little Bruce was doing somersaults and moving all around.
Cloth Diapers or disposables? Doing some research.
Find out the sex the first week of May then I am going on a shopping binge.
Been a bit picky about what I eat.

I guess that is about it. I am excited to meet this Bruce person, girl or boy.

Oh, and we are keeping the names a secret. So don't feel bad when I won't tell you because no one knows. We might give it up to the highest bidder........

Just One Word Answers, Ma'am.

2008-03-17T16:32:00.006-06:00

Just a Little Exercise to include One Word Answers. Only. Just try it. It is harder than I thought it would be, thinking of one word for a few things... You can copy my list and add your own in the comments section, or do it on your own blog....

You're Feeling: Uneasy
To Your Left: I-Pod
On Your Mind: Bruce
Last Meal Included: Cheese
You Sometimes Find it Hard To: Motivate
The Weather: Teasing
Something You Have a Collection of: Candy
A Smell that Cheers You Up: Clean
A Smell that Can Ruin Your Mood: Dirty
How Long Since You Last Shaved: Days
The Current State of Your Hair: Ponied
The Largest Item On Your Desk/Workspace Right Now (besides computer): Binder
Your Skill with Chopsticks: Ridiculous
Which Section You Head to First In the Bookstore: New
...and After That?: Baby
Something You're Craving: Salt
Your General Thoughts On the Presidential Race: Mudslingers
How Many Times You've Been Hospitalized this Year: None
A Favorite Place to Go for Quiet Time: Bathtub
You've Always Secretly Thought You'd Be a Good: Spy
Something that Freaks You Out a Little: Bruce
Something You've Eaten Too Much of Lately:Chicken
You Have Never: spelunked
You Never Want To: Mislead

Washing Clothes

2008-03-08T09:11:00.003-07:00

We bought a new house in November. Our washer has two settings:
Small.
Extra Large.

Spandex=Sexy??

2008-03-07T14:55:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was sitting in this lame meeting about Emergency Prepardness at Work. Probably, I should have been paying more attention, but basically, I just couldn't. So, I started thinking about how clothes really do hide a lot, and the question came to mind:

What if EVERYONE HAD to wear Spandex. Like that was the only material available. And you had to.

I heart Obama.

2008-03-05T14:23:00.006-07:00

I like Obama. I must admit. I saw him speak in Boise.

I am a fan.

I also like this shirt.

Here is another AWESOME one...

My Desk Drawer

2008-03-04T11:33:00.005-07:00

So, sometimes I go to the store to buy Healthy Stuff to Eat. Because that is what WTEWYE says.

(Note: In case you don't know, WTEWYE stands forWhat To Expect WHen You're Expecting. AKA: The Bible of All Pregnant Women, even if it does go a little over the top, , and basically will scare you straight out of your mind about what to eat, what to wear, how to sleep, how to move, how to breathe, etc.)...

Okay, so back to the store. I usually go to the WalMart (Evil Empire) across the street from my new office buildling. When I go, sometimes I think, Gosh, I need a treat after I eat this healthy lunch, because I am pregnant and it is okay to have a treat every now and then. ThenI buy it and stick it in my desk drawer for such occaisions. But I never eat it. I just collect it. I just am never in the mood for treats. I know, CRAZY.....People ask if I have cravings, and I don't, really, but I don't like treats as much as I used too.....weird...

Well, here is the list, laid out for all to see:

Half Eaten Bag of Pretzel Sticks (got sick of eating them and being thirsty all the time)
Two Logs of Saltine Crackers (just incase I GET sick)
Box of Nurtigrain Cereal Bars, Mixed Berry (You know, just because)
A ZipLock Bag of Cinnamon Hearts that I still have yet to eat more than 2 of
An unopened box of Junior Mints
An unopened bag of Cadbury Mini Eggs...the yummy chocolate ones with that crazy addictive shell...you know the ones
A real Cadbury Egg (unopened....)
An unopened bag of Tootsie Rolls
A Box of PopSecret Homestyle Popcorn, Snack bag size (I DO eat this. And it is the BEST Flavor)
A few granola bars, Nature Valley Sweet and Salty Nut
A bottle of Tums

There it is, the confession of my Secret Stash. Now, if I can just find any of those darn Girl Scouts at the WalMart, then I could add a few more line items.......

12 Weeks

2008-03-03T16:38:00.004-07:00

Wow. Wednesday I will be at 13 weeks in the ole pregnancy. And sometimes I think to myself, am I really pregnant? Other than feeling tired and extremely hungry all the time (is that really a change, though? I can't really say) I haven't felt super prego.

Anyhoo, luckily one of my coworkers gave me a gift today and I can't wait to share it with all of you. It is a book titled "Pregnant & Beautiful", published in 1985 and must have Rivaled What to Expect When You're Expecting in its day....The opening Paragraph reads as such:

It's satisfying to see a radiant woman who looks as lovely when she's pregnant as when she is not pregnant. Does she look better because she feels better, or does so look great because she keeps herself looking nice and feels good about herself? Experience has shown that any woman who keeps up her appearance feels better......This book is designed to help you choose fitness over flab and beauty over blahness during your pregnancy.

Luckily, the book will teach me such things as What Colors to Wear, What Textures to Wear, Beauty During Pregnancy, How to Apply My Makeup and Do My Hair, which are all things that have been BURNING questions in my soul. How can I be more attractive? Thank goodness I have this bbok to assist me....and you....

Too bad I don't have a scanner at work. Just you wait....

It's known as BRUCE for now.....

2008-02-11T16:01:00.001-07:00

Here is the big news!! The First Addition to our family and we are "totally stoked". ha ha ha.....

I am due 9/9/08. I haven't felt too bad. Just TIRED! I could lay my head down right now and fall asleep with no problem at all. I have to eat ALL THE TIME and sometimes I have to eat TWO breakfasts...who knew? But all in all things are great and we are excited for Bruce to make his/her appearance......I will keep you updated....

Much Love!

Job #2 and #3: Shampooologist and the Sugar Shack

2008-01-30T17:05:00.000-07:00

I know you are thoroughly thrilled and excited about the prospect of learning what shaped me during my formative years and why I can make such a freakin awesome snowcone....

Job #2: Shampoo-ologist

When I was 14, maybe 15....I was in the 8th grade at least, I had the biggest Badittude you have ever seen. My mom hatched a plan with her long time friend, Julie, to save my soul (I found out this was their motivation years later). Julie owned a beauty salon in downtown SLC and she hired me "under the table" to be her shampoo-ologist. I would lovingly wash customers' hair awating their new cut, wash off color and perms, sweep up hair and fold towels. I went every Wednesday afternoon after school and every Saturday. I don't really remember for how long, but I remember spending all of the money I earned. I think I made 5 bucks an hour, tax free. It was awesome. On Saturdays, my friend Lindsey and I would go to Crossroads mall and spend all of my money I just made at the Gap and the Golden Spoon Yogurt place.

What I learned: 1. How to shake someone's hand for real and not like a dead fish. I shook Julie's hand once and she gave me a grossed out look and said "that isn't how you shake hands. Ever." I have never forgotten that and have since developed a very firm and confident handshake.

Job #3: Sugar Shack Attendant
Somehow, I got roped into working at a SnoCone shack the summer I moved to Kansas City. I was inbetween my sophomore and junior years, so I wasn't 16 and I got paid with some Training Loophole in the law and made about 3 bucks an hour. But that was better than nothing.
I knew the ins and outs of shaved ice. I knew every flavor that could be added and how to put two flavors together to create such concoctions as Tigers Blood and Creamsicle.
The company expanded and opened a second location later that summer and I manned it during the day. BORING DAYS OF SUMMER. That is what I think of when I reflect back. Because I read books all day. I finished Les Miserables.... They asked me the summer after I turned 16 if I wanted to be the Pseudo Manager and make: $3.50 an hour! I politely laughed in their face and worked at a Dry Cleaner instead.
Lesson Learned: Don't eat too many snow cones. It makes you sick, and Les Miserables is a boring book. I was trying to be all uppity...
Back to my real job: The Art of Looking Busy!

Job #1: Door to Door Sales Girl

2008-01-16T16:14:00.000-07:00

I have decided to blog about past jobs I have had. While sitting at Big Juds, a greasy burger joint in Boise, with Kyle, we were talking about jobs we have had. I have deduced that in my early, formative years, I did a variety of things that make me what I am today:
Read on, I know I have you hooked....

So, I will start the fun off with Job #1: Door to Door Sales Girl

I can't remember the exact circumstances, it might have been a FUNdraiser at my elementry school, a harebrained plan of my brothers that I stole, or the sheer joy and greed and racking up points I could later cash in for a stash of useless prizes that I have never used since. Whatever the reasons, I was a Door to Door Sales Girl.

I lived in Georgia and I was probably in First Grade, maybe Second and Third (hey, I was trying to make a career out of it). I would cruise around our neighborhood with a catalog of greeting cards and wrapping paper that I peddled to all of the neighbors. We lived on a LONG street that was a cul-de-sac (going back last year, the street isn't long, but I sure thought it was). I went door to door, flashed my famous smile, batted my dark brown eyes, and somehow convinced everyone on the street that they needed boxes and boxes of greeting cards and rolls and rolls of wrapping paper, because buying it from WalMart or KMart or whatever Mart, just wasn't good enough.

In turn, after taking orders, and collecting money, I received Points, Oh Glorious POINTS!! I had hundreds of them. A catalog came with the sales package, with so much crazy crap that I could cash my points in for. There were globes, and scooters, and maybe electronic keyboards...I don't really remember. I would look through the catalog and determine what my goal prize was, circling it lovingly in pencil, or turning down the corner of the page to save it....I can see myself counting them up in the middle of my sales to see what else I needed to reach the coveted prize...The only prize I remember getting was a globe that was a bank. I think.....

I remember being very successful in this venture, or at least my parents TOLD me I was awesome at it. I am sure I was. Awesome. Sales. Girl. at the age of Seven.

I am sure that I had a very loving and kind neighborhood, because #1: Almost everyone bought something and #2: I never got stolen. I think I went by myself......

Next Job Update: Job #2: Shampoo-ologist. For real. That was the title.

Introducing: Lucy Macaroni

2008-01-11T11:55:00.000-07:00

We got a puppy. She is sweet, most of the time. Her name is Lucy Macaroni.
Here is the cutest picture of any puppy you will ever see:

That is after bath time. Here is one of her during bathtime:

Notice how she kind of looks like a rat. Well, when we are out walking her, (or, more approriately, dragging her along) people will stop us and ooo and ahhhhh. One time someone said "I was wondering what you were walking" and I replied "A rat". She is tiny, but pudgy too. She currently weighs in at 5.8 massive pounds.

Other names we affectionately refer to her as: Lucy, LuLu, Lucy Goosey, Midge, Super Midge, Fatty, and my personal favorite, Bargain Bin (because that is where we got her, the Puppy Bargain Bin)

Puppy Preschool starts on Saturday. I will let you know how it goes.

Holy Tumbleweed Batman!

2008-01-04T14:55:00.000-07:00

Today there is a crazy wind storm here in the Happy Land of Boise.

My new office is kind of in the middle of a field. Well, there is a great big field in front on it, and I kind of feel like i am in the country here.

Today, I went out to grab a bite, and this is what the parking lot looked like:

There were Tumbleweeds EVERYWHERE.......EVERYWHERE.....Blowing all over the parking lot and streets. It was crazy....

Girl Talk

2008-01-03T16:31:00.000-07:00

I was on a trip to the metropolis of Twin Falls. We had a Christmas Party at a local Bistro and lo and behold I run to the bathroom and find this on the door:

Hmmmm. I wonder what the heck they mean by "Unique Design". I bet you are wondering too, and you won't have to wait much longer because here we go:

That is right. It gives a whole new meaning to taking your girl friends to the bathroom with you. Thank goodness SOMEONE is taking down walls and building proverbial bridges. No place better to start than the Ladies Room.

Binge and Purge

2008-01-02T15:17:00.000-07:00

Not like a bulimic person.

I decided that I have spent a lot of years binging on things and stuff and must haves.
I keep (now, kept) things for a number of reasons:
1) Just because "you never know" when you might need a vast odd collection of mismatched hair doo dads, or that growing unmatched sock collection.
2) Just to HAVE stuff.
3) Hurting feelings. What if by some off chance that Chinese restaurant waitress, upon learning that we had just gotten married, gave us a hideous crystal frame right there on the spot and what if they stop by and want to see it? Five Years later and 2000 miles away?
4) Good Intentions. (Oooo, I can make something really crafty out of these scraps of paper and old bank statements)
5) Genetics. I come from a long line of pack rats. It is true, isn't it, Kaintie?

So, basically, my brother gave me a great idea. I don't have to KEEP everything. I can have a limit of the things that mean a lot to me, then I can take PICTURES, post them on a site like FLICKR and then write about what they meant to me and why. I don't have to keep and keep and keep for the sake of keeping and having. I can reminisce when I want and look back, but I don't have to keep....

Although, my friends son did name me Liz Keeper a few months ago. A name that hopefully means I am a keeper, not that I keep things around....

New Year, New Resolutions

2008-01-01T18:22:00.000-07:00

1. Blog more.
I don't know if you have noticed, but I haven't blogged in like forever. One of my posts, now erased and put in the vault forever, offended someone and I hung up the keyboard. Two lessons: 1) I can't make everyone happy (although I am a born pleaser) and 2) Sometimes it is okay to edit your thoughts as to not ruin relationships. So, if you are reading, I am sorry.

2. Eat Less. Move More
Always one, for everyone, right?

3. Not Kill Lucy Macaroni
We got a puppy, Lucy Macaroni, a Cairn Terrier. I vow not to kill her. This will be a hard one, as she is a puppy, and a little hyper since we changed her food to a natural one, but now that it is written, it will be done. Or not done. Whatever.

4. Less TV.
We don't watch a lot anyway, but watching even less won't hurt, right?

5. Take more pictures
Since we have been married, I think there are like 5 pictures of my sweetie and I. What? So maybe I will snap a few more this year.

6. Read more Books
I do read a lot. My Darling Husband calls me a Nerd. I call my self Well Read and Smart Because I Learn Things From Reading. My friend posts on a website called GoodReads where you can post your impressions and thoughts on books you've read and send them to your friends and fancy schmancy stuff like that. Nerd Heaven. Welcome, and you are welcome for introducing you. Now, people like my sister and her best friend won't have to meet at Barnes and Noble, wander through the stacks and taking turns, pointing out books, and saying "Read It" "Read It" "Read It" (as in the past tense) and they REALLY did that. That is not a joke.

7. Be More Sassy
I know, this is a hard one. But seriously, I started a few days ago by using my Crest White Strips, Professional Strength. A few months ago, I mean, like 4 or 5, I got a 50$ credit at my dentist for referring a friend to them. I used that to buy a 21 day supply of strips, so my teeth could catch up in sassiness. Well, for 4 or 5 months they have been sitting in my bathroom. Why, you ask, when I have the Sassy Tools so close at hand, do I not utilize them? Simply because I don't like stuff on my teeth, and I am glad I waited because I DREAD putting them on. It is the WORST THING EVER. But, the sacrifices we must make.....

That is all for now. That is a LOT to work on. Wish me the Best of Luck.

Mondays....

2006-03-20T14:58:00.000-07:00

Four people, four of my 11 secretaries called in sick today. that is 36% of my staff have called in sick. Luckily, I have been able to shuffle things around and be creative, but right now I am covering at a clinic, and all I have to say is that I am so THANKFUL that I am not a secretary full time again. I like my freedom and the diversity that my job offers.

Bad things come in Threes

2006-02-17T09:56:00.000-07:00

So I am going to report on Cali in one second....I am not at my normal computer and the pictures I wanted to put in the vacation day two post are on the other computer, but I have something very important to say, so listen up.
I understand that things happen in threes. I don't know if it is an old wive's tale or just a pessimistic look at life, but I only notice the Bad Things happening in Threes. Here is out latest experience with this:
Our Car. yes, the cute one we just bought in July. I thought brand new cars weren't supposed to give you trouble. Here goes.

Exhibit 1): I went to get our second oil change. Commerical Tire had given us a $20 gift certificate and I decided to go there to save a buck or twenty. I went, they changed it, everything was fine. That was a few weeks ago on a Thursday around 4:00. Friday about 1:30 I am driving back to work and my car starts freaking out, it won't accelerate, it is making an noise that cars just don't make. The oil light comes on. I call Commercial Tire immediately. They come, add THREE + QUARTS of oil to my car, take it, and decide that someone didn't put the oil filter back on correctly, so all the oil drained out of my car in less than 24 hours. I took the car to Dennis Dillion Mazda right away. They told me to bring it back on Monday and they did some tests on it to make sure nothing was wrong. They charged Commercial Tire 300 bucks. The thing I thought was funny was that Commercial Tire has an ACCOUNT with Dennis Dillion. Hmmm... I called all the sites I was at that day and asked them to look where I had parked. They were like: I can't exactly leave the desk, but from here I can see a HUGE puddle outside. I only drove about 20 miles before all the oil had drained out.

Exhibit 2): The next Thursday. Yes, I mean three days after I get my car fixed because of the Oil Thing, I am driving down the road toward my work and an older woman Crashes into me. She was stopped at a stop sign, I was cruising down the raod, and when I entered the intersection, she just RAMS me on the passenger side. RAMS ME. T Bone Style. She tought it was a one way and just looked one way before she tried to proceed straight through the intersection. RAMMED. Kyle and I drive the Mazda BACK to Dennis Dillion. Three Days after I had it in the for the Oil Incident. They fix the car, I get it on Monday, about three weeks later.

Exhibit 3): On Monday, we picked up the car from Dennis Dillion. I was so excited to have the car back. Fixed and beautiful and I didn't have to drive the rental anymore and I was all relaxed because I had just come back from California. On Tuesday, Valentines Day, we met at Outback Steakhouse, had dinner, then went to find a movie at Circuit City or Best Buy. We found one. I was getting on the freeway and I hear this loud bang on the windsheild. I was like, crap, I totally just got a chip in my windshield, but I couldn't see the chip point. Thursday, or yesterday, I was driving my car to a site that is being built so I could see it and lo and behold I have a HUGE CRACK across my windsheild. What the heck? So we have to get that replaced now. Raaar. Insane, that is what I say. I just don't understand.

So, since we have had three things happen, we don't have to worry about anything else happening to our car, RIGHT?

Cali-ganza Day One

2006-02-16T08:19:00.000-07:00

As most of you know, I went to California for a little Vacation!! I had so much fun! I love it there in February because while it is Snowing in Boise, it is beautiful in California. I don't think I want to live there full time, though. I like seasons and to be able to put on a coat and play in the snow and stuff. But, I did have a blast.
Day One: February 7th: I got on the plane, finally at about 1:30. I was supposed to leave on 9:40, but due to a glitch in the ticketing system, I didn't get to leave until 1:30. I was very sad, but a TCBY in the SLC airport really took the edge off. As I was walking down the "hall" to my gate, there was this little girl, probably about three, who was walking with her mom next to me and she COULD NOT take her eyes off of my TCBY. It really made me want to give it to her. She didn't beg her mom for one, or point at it and whine, she just kept walking and looking at it with this positively precious look of want. It turned my day around. I got onto the plane and as we were getting ready to land, the pilot mentioned that there were some fires in the area and if we looked out the window, we would be able to see them. I was able to see some flames on some hills, as well as some HUGE houses. How do people affords houses like that in CA, I will never know.

I flew into Orange County Airport at about 4:30, where shortly after Miss Debbie R., came and picked me up. I was waiting outside for her, and I kept thinking, is this weather normal? It is so beautiful, there are palm trees outside of the airport, blowing in the warm breeze. All I am saying is that the airport was really beautiful....So backstory: Growing up we were close friends with another family, they had six kids, we had four. Four of their kids were all the same age as me and my siblings and we all became "Best" Friends. Lots of traveling together, hanging out, getting into trouble and having sleepovers. IT was good times growing up. So that is Miss Debbie, the fabulous mother or our "best" friends. It was so good to see her again. I had just seen her in August in GA when we was visiting my parents, then Kyle and I also went to see my parents..
Anyway, she picked me up at the airport, we went and had dinner and chatted and then she drove me "Across the Ortega" to the Temecula area. She had a meeting, then we met her daughter Tawnie for dessert. She is so funny! Then I saw the Dance Studio, then we went to Debbies and I went to sleep. It was a great relaxing beginning to my trip.

It was the most fun! It was great talking with Debbie about life and what her children are doing now and everything.

How come I wake up at the wrong moment????

2005-09-21T09:22:00.000-06:00

I don't know why it is, but I keep dreaming these amazingly suspensful dreams. I don't know if I wake up and then go back to sleep and in that time when I go back to sleep my mind is at its most adventurous, or what, but I have these dreams that are suspenseful and crazy and full of running for my life. BUT right before I come to that pivotal moment of life or death in this suspenseful menagerie of dream land....I wake up. And the dream is gone. Then I am left all day wondering what would have happened. Did I run fast enough to avoid the danger? Did the bullet hit me? Did the bad guy capture me or was I able to karate kick the crap out of him? I will never know. It is like my mind KNOWS when I have to be fully awake and alert and then it times everything backward so it starts at precisely the moment that when the climax comes, I will wake up.

So, either I hate myself and constantly want to feel unfinished and incomplete, or I have a great imagination and can make up the ending in my waking hours. But it is never good enough, and that feeling of living in a different time and being an AWESOME karate master is over and the ending that I think up is always lame, compared to the ending I probably would have dreampt up.

The End.

That is it.

Dr Pepper

2005-09-19T15:49:00.000-06:00

I am sadly addicted. To Dr. Pepper. I don't really know why. Sometimes I have this amazing will power to not want a DP. It lasts for like half a day, then when I am presented with the opportunity for a little soda drink, I just can't deny myself the cool refreshment. For example, today I was reading Rachel H's blog and she was just making mention of DP and I was like, hmm, that sounds tasty. The madness must stop!

I have tried to stop twice. The first time was 1996-1997. It was pre kidney transplant and I wanted to give Kathryn a soda-free kidney, since she doesn't drink the stuff at all herself. Let's just say that year I pounded some serious Hawaiian Punch. Then, post surgery, with that soda free kidney out of my body, I folded and bought some cream soda. I think I was like 6 days post surgery, and the craving won over. Second time was last year. I didn't drink any of The Soda(that means no soda at all, no DP, no DDP, no coke, no cream soda, no club soda, no ginger ale, absolutely nothing with Carb-O-Nation) for about 6 months, from August to February. Then I got sick to my stomach, and needless to say, I folded and had a little coke, to, as my gram would say "settle my stomach". It has been a serious downhill roller coaster ever since. I just can't find a good time to stop. But it must be soon!!!

So. Maybe today will be my last day for a soda. I have secretly been saying that for like 6 months. So, as I am sipping on my "last" DP, I say to all who read: Give me some strength and Will power to stop this madness....and like recovering alcoholics and drug addicts, if everyone would be so kind as to not make mention of DP in my presence, that would be great...until tomorrow, that is......

The Grocery Cart

2005-08-25T18:35:00.000-06:00

So. The other night I had to go the grocery store. I did not want to go to the grocery store. I don't really like the grocery store. Don't get me wrong, I like food. But the grocery is a whole other story. I think that it is because it seems so huge. It seems like I have to do a bunch of grocery shopping at once, especially when I go to a store like Winco. For ya'll who aren't part of the NW culture, the WINCO is a lot like Food for Less, etc. Or No Frills in Canada. They spare EVERY expense. You know, you bag your own food, it is like a huge warehouse, etc. But the prices are SOOO much lower! So, I have to go to the store. Kyle advises me not to go. I think, okay, I won't, Then I think, I have to or we won't eat. So I go. I go through the whole store, fill up my cart with goodies, then go to the cashier.

She rings me up. She wants about 80 bucks. I think, okay. So I go to grab my check book. Part of this whole giving us food for less and not charging us crazy amounts for food is accepting only cash and checks. That is it. NO debit cards. No credit cards. Nothing convenient like that. So I flip to the back of my check book. No checks. crap.

So the lady points to this generic tiny stupid little ATM in the corner and says I can get money from that. I try. And try. and try. and try and try and try. Needless to say, for some reason, my bank won't give me any money. I am pretty mad by now. The manager comes over to see what the problem is. The stupid store, in cutting all expenses to bring me a lower price, has a DIAL up ATM machine. Hence the wait and the ATM not working. Then my bank thinks some criminal has my card and is trying to get out hundreds of dollars, so I am sure it won't give it to me anyway. So I say, "well, I guess I can run home and get some money or more checks" and he says, oh okay, I will put your grocery cart in the refridgerator and keep it cold while you do that. First of all, this must happen a lot. Second of all, they have big fridges.

So I leave. I call Kyle. I am mad. He says come home. I say, no I will try again. He says just come home. I say, No I will drive to the bank and to the ATM that is connected to the bank instead of to some cinderblock at the cheap store. He says, just come home. I say, I will if this doesn't work.

I drive to the bank. I try to take 100 bucks out first (I think the total was 82 bucks or something, and since I can only get denominations of 20, I must round up to the big Franklin). The ATM denies. I try 80. Denied again. 60? Nope. But it does give me 40. So then I think, well I will just do that again. I try 40. No chance. Then I try 20. It does give me 20. So now I am sitting in my car with 60 bucks. I just need 20 more. I try again. No go. Now I am really mad. My own bank won't give me money that I KNOW I have in there and that I need to go back and buy my poor little groceries so we can eat......

So I go home. I abandon the cart in the fridge at the Winco and just drive straight home. I guess sometimes I just need a brick to hit me over the head with the message:
1. Kyle tells me not to go.
2. I have no checks.
3. After 6 attempts the stupid little ATM won't give me the moola I seek.
4. Kyle tells me to go home.
5. The ATM at my bank won't give me the right amount.

How many signs? Like 11.
Hello!
And that is how I came to abandon my grocery cart. Do I feel guilty? I don't know.....

The Firing

2005-08-24T09:15:00.000-06:00

Two Sundays ago, the bishop's right hand man says, hey the bishop wants to talk to you and your husband, and, JOKINGLY I said "Oh, am I fired" ha ha ha ha ha ha. For a Little History, I have been in Young Women's for a year and I LOVE it there. I love the young women and my calling. I love teaching every week and I really love having fun with them every week. They keep me young and keep things in perspective. Plus they are just all so funny and sweet and GOOD. I can't believe how GOOD they are! Holy cow!! Anyway, so we get to the bishops office and he said I wasn't getting fired, I was getting a promotion. Kyle and I are now Sixth Ward missionaries. I am very upset about the whole thing, to tell you the truth. I don't want to not be in YW anymore. ANd I have been crying ever since. Last Sunday when they released me was a HUGE cry fest. For me at least. And Lori, the YW Pres. I am DYING.....Oh well, c'est la vie, I guess there are better things out there for me...

The Break is Over

2005-08-24T09:11:00.000-06:00

I have been taking a break. A self imposed break, I suppose. I just needed to break from the blog and now I am back. I broke for a few reasons. First of all, I have been SUPER busy. Busier than I really wanted to be....since I have come into this position, I have done a lot of things that my previous boss should have, but I got stuck with. ThenI had to hire four new people, so I have been busy cruising all around and training them. So I am barely at a computer to start with and I when I am, I don't feel like spending more time there than I absolutely have to. So, alas, I have a few things to blog about, that ya'll can look forward to with great anticipation.
1) The Subpeona.
2) The New Job.
3) The Grocery Cart.
4) The Firing.

That will get us off to a nice start and get back into the swing of things. I have noticed that the blogging has dropped off significantly for that past few weeks. What is going on everyone?? Where are the faithful bloggers that once were?

Later dudes.

When Will I Ever Learn

2005-07-27T10:19:00.000-06:00

I have this uncanny knack of offending people. I don't know what it is....I offended someone super close to me and someone that I totally adore and look up to. And I feel like total crap. This seems to be a pattern in my life. I have done a lot of stupid things, especially lately. And I just want to say. When will I ever learn? I don't know. Probably never. Probably I will keep being a goober. So, dearest friend, close to my heart. I am SO sorry.....

Quickie

2005-07-20T17:15:00.000-06:00

Just a quickie. I don't know exactly. So I got this new job. And let's just say I am a bit overwhelmed, since I am still doing my old job and my new job. That has been fun. Here are the highlights of the last two weeks:
1) I have a rhomboid problem!! That is back pain under my left shoulder blade. It sucks like a mother!! It has really been bothering me seriously!!! I would like to chop it off.
2) I love our new car!! It is soooo fun to drive around. I wonder how long that will last?
3) I conducted my FIRST interviews yesterday, and am doing the second interviews tomorrow with these people! I am pretty excited about it all, actually....
4) My job as supervisor is very interesting. I am learning a lot about politics and people.
5). Okay this is a super lame post and I don' t have a lot of time, but I thought I would do something. So that is all I will do for now.....
Later Dudes.

July 5, 2005. A day of infamy

2005-07-12T08:44:00.000-06:00

So. I am sorry for not posting for a million years! It has been busy here.....So July Fifth. Kyle started a new job. I got a promotion AND we bought a new CAR!!! A Mazda 3 Five Door. We love love love it! It is super fun and cute too......So I haven't been blogging for two reasons:
Number one: Too busy. Due to my promotion, I have been doing my old job and some of my new job repsonsibilities at the same time.
Number two: We have been cruising around in our new car.
Number three: No good excuse!
Well I don't know. I have to go and do some more work!
Oh, by the way, PrePaid Legal is having a convention on July 16th! Oh my gosh I am sooooo excited!! Hooray! Did I mention that it is in BOISE and I got invited to got FOR FREE! I have just been waiting waiting waiting for an opportunity like this one!!!!

I want to be a Loan Officer when I hear about this stuff...

2005-06-29T10:33:00.000-06:00

So, I will leave all names out to protect the innocent and wildly and wierdly stupid....

We , when I say we, I mean, me and Kyle, know someone who wanted to buy a car. So they found a used car. The car originally cost $5,000. They sold some existing stuff, so they only had to borrow $3,000. That is all. But, due to some pre-existing circumstances of let's just say, less than perfect credit issues, they had to settle for a high interest rate. And I don't mean just high. I think the present going rate for used car loans is something like 6%. The Un-named got a loan for 35 %. Yes, 35%....HOLY CRAP. But that is not then end of it. Because of that, their payments are like 300 bucks a month....for I don't know how many years...they have had the car for about 2 and a half. or so. They still owe about 1800 bucks on the car and have had numerous opportunites to pay off the balance, between tax returns, etc. But haven't. We figured it out and they will have ended up paying around $14,000 bucks for this car. Wild and Wierd. Stupid.

It is at times like these that I would like to give out loans at 35%. I could do it...

Idaho House Concurrent Resoluction #29

2005-06-29T10:31:00.000-06:00

This is not a joke. I just posted this as a comment in rchblog, but thought it was blog entry worthy. This is for real. Not a joke.....

Concurrent Resolution No. 29. It is flippin sweet.

I found this in a pile of stuff I was cleaning out.
Enjoy and don't pee your pants.

The Great GB.

2005-06-29T09:46:00.000-06:00

So, basically, all I can say is that Modern Medicine is Amazing. I mean, honestly, amazing. There I was on Friday, June 24th, having my gall bladder out. I arrive at the hospital at 700 for check in. I get all checked in and wait for them to take me back to the Operating Area. They have this cool tracking system on this HUGE flat screen on the wall for the poor people waiting (as my father in law said, he felt worse for Kyle having to wait forever, than for me having the surgery!! ha ha ha). Anyway, so the tracking system has everyone's name "disguised". Mine appeared as Mi....D, E. Then there were these columns along the top....Pre Op, OR, Recovery1, Recovery 2, etc. and then they put the time under each column of where you are, either the time or little icons, for example, a little man in a surgical mask for the OR, and a friendly little icon to let people know they could come in and visit me, etc. I thought it was cool. Kyle compared it to an airport....

So in I go to PreOp. They get me all naked and robed and then IV'd and drugged up, then and only after they give me to happy drugs do they let Kyle come back. I was happy. I like drugs.
Under the Knife at 945. Done at 1030. OUT OF THE HOSPITAL at 1230. Who even knew? I was excited that I didn't have to stay the night (It costs like a thousand bucks a night. I am NOT even kidding. A thousand bucks!!) Today is day six post surgery and I am feeling really really good. I can sit upright comfortably. I don't take any more medication. Hooray for no more Gall Bladder. And on the Amazing Modern Medicine note. No stitches. My incisions are about the length of my pinky nail. Crazy times we live in. Just crazy.

On an interesting note, we went over the Clarks house on Thursday night so I could get a blessing and Clark said "I want to show you a bill". SO I was like, okay, maybe it is outrageous bill for some crazy thing. No. It was a bill from 1952 when his mom had a masectomy. The TOTAL bill came to $382.oo. And she stayed in the hospital for 13 days. The cost of the hospital per day? $10.00. Yes, you read that right. For her to stay in the hospital for 13 days came to a whopping total of $130.00. So I guess that means everything else, her surgery, etc. was $252.00. And the paper it came on? Smaller than an 8.5x11 sheet of paper. It was like 6x6 or something. Crazy times we live in. That was 53 years ago. Blew me completely away..

Secret Addiction

2005-06-17T10:48:00.000-06:00

Ever since I was in Debate in High School, I think I have harbored a secret, or maybe not so secret addiction to....Office Supplies. Yes, sad but true, I love them! Office Max, Office Depot, Staples, you name the office store and I know I could love it. I don't exactly know what it is, but I love pens. I love buying different kinds of pens and testing them out, trying to decide which one I like best. I have a serious assortment of pens at the bottom of my purse at times, then I think they all migrate over to my church bag, because the other day in Young Womens, I dug around in my bag and found like a million pens. Okay, more like nine. A black one. A blue one. A fat one. A hot pink one. A red one, rollerball, I believe. A tiny mini one for tiny mini Franklin planners. A Mechanical Pencil. A regular pencil. Some more black or blue ones. A gel one. A ball point. You name a pen and it was probably in the bottom of my church bag....alas. what is a girl to do?

At any given point throughout my day at work, there will be a smattering of pens all across my desk. There will be, honestly, like ten black pens, a few red ones, a pencil and like twelve highlighters. It doens't help that my desk becomes the center hub for all writing and highlighting on patient home exercise programs, but nonetheless, I just don't understand why I can't commit myself to one pen. I am getting better. I have one pen that I like very much right now. It is one of those nice fat pens that requires refills (refills, whoever thought of making refills for pens? Don't you just go buy a new, different, cooler one?). I even secretly have a stash of five pens I bought at Office Max once, but I keep them in a secret drawer so my co workers don't walk off with them. Zebra. XA-07. Black. Roller ball. 0.7. Arrow Tip. That is all the info I can give you right now. I used to have five. I am now down to a black one and a blue one. ahhhh.

Continuing along the office supply road, I just cleaned out my two drawers that were messy and gross and filled with office supplies. I guess I compulsively order more supplies, and I don't even really look at the drawers. Or, I look at the surface of the drawer and not the depth, because when I cleaned out the drawers today, lets just say, I don't need any more scotch tape, small paper clips, black pens ( I can only order Bic Sticks. How boring), post it notes (both the 3x3 and the 3x5 sizes), or that cool white out paper stuff on that fun little dispenser for like one whole year. I don't know. Maybe it is because I am limited as to what I CAN buy, that I really go crazy and buy tons and tons of the things I am limited to?? Anyway, there is my confession for the day, as my friend Melissa says, "Confession is good for the soul".

Oh, and I am addicted to blogs. I have to learn how to discipline myself in two areas, blogs and pens.

I am well on my way.

Funny Thing Happened....

2005-06-17T08:47:00.000-06:00

So, yesterday I borrow my boss' car to go to this crazy meeting that I had. She always lets me borrow her car every now and then for those oh so important "staff meetings". She has a very lovely 1991 Honda Accord WAGON with like 150,000 miles on it, or something like that. So, there I was, driving downtown to this fabulous meeting. Well, I was pulling into the parking lot, and I was behind this big monster of a Dodge Half Ton Truck in front of me, looking for a spot. Well. I guess there was one BEHIND him, and BEHIND me that he wanted. He starts to back up. I am stunned. I look to the rear view mirror. There is a car behind ME, waiting for us to go. So I can't back up. I am trapped!!! I look at the Ram. He stops, so I think, oh he has seen me. Wrong. He is just readjusting his wheel or something, takes his foot of the brake, and continues to back up. He is about 20 feet in front of me. Or so. I frantically search for the horn in this foreign Honda Wagon. I bang on the middle of the steering wheel. No luck. It has those lame little honkers on either side of the steering wheel. I start beeping away. beep beep beep. No response BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP. No response. BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPP
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP. The truck still comes. There is nothing I can do but wait. I have no control over the huge black thing coming my way, I see it come right over the top of the car, and come to rest on top of the Honda. When they named the RAM, they sure named the RAM. Because it RAMMED me. Old Man. Big Truck. No Mix. No Damage to the Black Monster.

No injuries. Don't worry. I called my boss' husband, because I knew she was with a patient, and he conviently works next door to us. I am like I've never been in an accident before. I am freaking out!!!....anyway, all was fine. It's not like it was a Lexus or something. Just a car. Wagon at that. Thank goodness.

I guess that is it. It is raining today and we are supposed to go camping tonight about 2 hours away. Maybe the weater forecast will change because I bought a lot of hot dogs.....

Later Dude.

Another Organ Bites the Dust

2005-06-14T09:57:00.000-06:00

Alas, it is true. The gall bladder must come out. At least that is what I hear. I am not too sure about it all, as no one has bothered much to explain was it means to have a low ejectioin rate, but apparently, that is bad. Most normal functioning gall bladders work at between 35 and 75 percent. Mine has decided to operate at a whopping 14 percent. That sucks. I guess that is why i have been in pain for like a year. Now I will be two organs short in my body. How much more can I lose? My appendix, part of my liver. I guess that is pretty much it. No Fat, Low Fat diet for me. Well I guess that is it....We are going camping this weekend, if the weather agrees with me (fingers crossed) and I am going ot have my fair share of HOT DOGS, BRAWTS, and SMORES as a last Hurah!!

The end.
Farewell, little GB. You have served me well. Well, until about a year ago, that is.

PeTe. ThE cAt

2005-06-10T14:13:00.000-06:00

Pete. Pete. Pete.
You are not sweet.
You are mean mean mean
To every human being

Pete Pete Pete
You like to eat meat
Fancy Feast is your delight
Beef Jerky you would take a bite

Pete Pete Pete
You smell like feet
You like to bite toes
Of people you don't even know

Pete Pete Pete
Your fur is kinda neat
It keeps expanding out
as you eat, (and you will, no doubt)

Pete Pete Pete
You can be beat
By a little puppy being nice
Or even little mice

Pete Pete Pete
On Kaintie's bed you take a seat
All day in there you stay
Until to bed people go away

Oh Pete, remember Gram, and how you hissed?
Oh Pete, remember Kyle, and how you hissed?
Oh Pete, remember harmless little babies and how you hissed?
Oh Pete, remember how you hissed.......
I do not miss.
The Pete.

Oh, Pete, Why are you so mean?
We feed you, love you, shelter you.
Well, Kaintie does at least.

Oh Pete pete pete.
You really are a mean mean cat.

At least you bring Joy to the Kaint.
And the Kaint alone.

Oh Pete.
Oh Pete.

For pictures of the infamous scoundral, please see Ken's Blog

What the heck??

2005-06-08T09:20:00.000-06:00

We went to Preston, Idaho over Memorial Day weekend. It was great. That town is sooooo small. We saw Pedro's house. They have brochures complete with maps for Napoleon Dynamite places of interest. I was in the grocery store and I half expected the cashier to hand me my change and say "Have a Dynamite Day". It didn't happen, but wouldn't it have been funny if it had? I mean, really!! I think they should institute that. You can buy all kinds of N.D. t-shirts everywhere you turn. I am not surprised that the movie theatre doesn't have special showings of N.D. everyday at like high noon or something like that (p.s. Preston is so small that when the Rodeo is in town, the movie theatre closes...what???).

Well, it will not surprise the entrepenuers out there that on Sunday I was reading the newspaper, the Idaho Statesman to be exact and there is this big article about Preston and Napoleon Dynamtie And believe it or not, Preston, Idaho is going to have a Napoleon Dynamite festival:

Preston is celebrating its newfound fame and geek-chic cachet with its first-ever Napoleon Dynamite Festival.When: June 24 and 25Where: Preston has, like, less than 5,000 residents — you should be able to find the party.What's going on: You name it:
• Tater Tot eating contests.
• "Moon Boot" dances and lookalike contests.
• Sweet bike and rollerblade races.
• And you can even take a "Rex Kwon Dojo Tour" and learn how to break a
wrist and walk away.
Find out more: At www.prestonidaho.org

Yes, that is straight from the side bar in the newspaper.

Gosh, I wish that I could be there. And I also wish that I could make a movie that would make millions of dollars and then the town I filmed it in would have a festival!!

Napoleon Dynamite fansite

That's it folks and have a Dynamite Day!

What I Want to Be When I Grow Up.

2005-06-07T08:30:00.000-06:00

So, the other day, there was my super cute niece, Maddy. She was getting into the van to go to preschool, (she is the tender age of FIVE) and she says to her mom "Mom, I know what I want to be when I grow up". Melissa, my sister in law, is like, oh okay, "What do you want to be when you grow up, Maddy?" Now, at this point, most parents would expect " I want to be a nurse" or maybe "I want to be a doctor" or maybe even "I want to be an actress", or possibly even "I want to be a princess". Yea, princess, probably the most likely.

Oh no, not Maddy. She says "I want to be a paleontologist". Melissa is like, "Oh, what's a paleontologist" and Maddy replies "You go and dig up dinosaur bones, mom!" in quite an exasperated tone because Melissa had no idea what the heck a Paleontologist was. Then, later that day, Kyle, my cute and adorable husband asks Maddy "Why do you want to be a Paleontolgist?" and Maddy says, in her sassy, what are you asking such a question voice, "Because I like dinosaurs". Come on, Kyle, like that wasn't totally obivous!! I mean, really!......

She is really a smart kid. And I am not trying to even be biased. She really is smart. I hope she stays that way, and that she doesn't lose her dream of becoming a Paleontologist!

When I grow up, I want to be a.........

Nerdville

2005-06-06T11:29:00.000-06:00

Welcome to nerdville. I am joining the ranks of some of the greatest nerds on the planet. Kathyrn "Kaintie" Kieffer. Ken "Beefie Boy" Kieffer. Me. Wow this is going to be great. I will get this going and then tell you all about my latest BM's. Isn't that what people put on these? Just kidding a million! I will tell you all about my latest tests and exciting adventures on my bike and stuff like that.
Keep up the good work out there, everyone.
Later Gators.