It's known as BRUCE for now.....

Here is the big news!! The First Addition to our family and we are "totally stoked". ha ha ha.....

I am due 9/9/08. I haven't felt too bad. Just TIRED! I could lay my head down right now and fall asleep with no problem at all. I have to eat ALL THE TIME and sometimes I have to eat TWO breakfasts...who knew? But all in all things are great and we are excited for Bruce to make his/her appearance......I will keep you updated....

Much Love!

Job #2 and #3: Shampooologist and the Sugar Shack

I know you are thoroughly thrilled and excited about the prospect of learning what shaped me during my formative years and why I can make such a freakin awesome snowcone....

Job #2: Shampoo-ologist

When I was 14, maybe 15....I was in the 8th grade at least, I had the biggest Badittude you have ever seen. My mom hatched a plan with her long time friend, Julie, to save my soul (I found out this was their motivation years later). Julie owned a beauty salon in downtown SLC and she hired me "under the table" to be her shampoo-ologist. I would lovingly wash customers' hair awating their new cut, wash off color and perms, sweep up hair and fold towels. I went every Wednesday afternoon after school and every Saturday. I don't really remember for how long, but I remember spending all of the money I earned. I think I made 5 bucks an hour, tax free. It was awesome. On Saturdays, my friend Lindsey and I would go to Crossroads mall and spend all of my money I just made at the Gap and the Golden Spoon Yogurt place.



What I learned: 1. How to shake someone's hand for real and not like a dead fish. I shook Julie's hand once and she gave me a grossed out look and said "that isn't how you shake hands. Ever." I have never forgotten that and have since developed a very firm and confident handshake.

Job #3: Sugar Shack Attendant
Somehow, I got roped into working at a SnoCone shack the summer I moved to Kansas City. I was inbetween my sophomore and junior years, so I wasn't 16 and I got paid with some Training Loophole in the law and made about 3 bucks an hour. But that was better than nothing.
I knew the ins and outs of shaved ice. I knew every flavor that could be added and how to put two flavors together to create such concoctions as Tigers Blood and Creamsicle.
The company expanded and opened a second location later that summer and I manned it during the day. BORING DAYS OF SUMMER. That is what I think of when I reflect back. Because I read books all day. I finished Les Miserables.... They asked me the summer after I turned 16 if I wanted to be the Pseudo Manager and make: $3.50 an hour! I politely laughed in their face and worked at a Dry Cleaner instead.
Lesson Learned: Don't eat too many snow cones. It makes you sick, and Les Miserables is a boring book. I was trying to be all uppity...
Back to my real job: The Art of Looking Busy!

Job #1: Door to Door Sales Girl

I have decided to blog about past jobs I have had. While sitting at Big Juds, a greasy burger joint in Boise, with Kyle, we were talking about jobs we have had. I have deduced that in my early, formative years, I did a variety of things that make me what I am today:
Read on, I know I have you hooked....

So, I will start the fun off with Job #1: Door to Door Sales Girl

I can't remember the exact circumstances, it might have been a FUNdraiser at my elementry school, a harebrained plan of my brothers that I stole, or the sheer joy and greed and racking up points I could later cash in for a stash of useless prizes that I have never used since. Whatever the reasons, I was a Door to Door Sales Girl.

I lived in Georgia and I was probably in First Grade, maybe Second and Third (hey, I was trying to make a career out of it). I would cruise around our neighborhood with a catalog of greeting cards and wrapping paper that I peddled to all of the neighbors. We lived on a LONG street that was a cul-de-sac (going back last year, the street isn't long, but I sure thought it was). I went door to door, flashed my famous smile, batted my dark brown eyes, and somehow convinced everyone on the street that they needed boxes and boxes of greeting cards and rolls and rolls of wrapping paper, because buying it from WalMart or KMart or whatever Mart, just wasn't good enough.

In turn, after taking orders, and collecting money, I received Points, Oh Glorious POINTS!! I had hundreds of them. A catalog came with the sales package, with so much crazy crap that I could cash my points in for. There were globes, and scooters, and maybe electronic keyboards...I don't really remember. I would look through the catalog and determine what my goal prize was, circling it lovingly in pencil, or turning down the corner of the page to save it....I can see myself counting them up in the middle of my sales to see what else I needed to reach the coveted prize...The only prize I remember getting was a globe that was a bank. I think.....

I remember being very successful in this venture, or at least my parents TOLD me I was awesome at it. I am sure I was. Awesome. Sales. Girl. at the age of Seven.

I am sure that I had a very loving and kind neighborhood, because #1: Almost everyone bought something and #2: I never got stolen. I think I went by myself......

Next Job Update: Job #2: Shampoo-ologist. For real. That was the title.

Introducing: Lucy Macaroni

We got a puppy. She is sweet, most of the time. Her name is Lucy Macaroni.
Here is the cutest picture of any puppy you will ever see:

That is after bath time. Here is one of her during bathtime:

Notice how she kind of looks like a rat. Well, when we are out walking her, (or, more approriately, dragging her along) people will stop us and ooo and ahhhhh. One time someone said "I was wondering what you were walking" and I replied "A rat". She is tiny, but pudgy too. She currently weighs in at 5.8 massive pounds.

Other names we affectionately refer to her as: Lucy, LuLu, Lucy Goosey, Midge, Super Midge, Fatty, and my personal favorite, Bargain Bin (because that is where we got her, the Puppy Bargain Bin)

Puppy Preschool starts on Saturday. I will let you know how it goes.

Holy Tumbleweed Batman!

Today there is a crazy wind storm here in the Happy Land of Boise.

My new office is kind of in the middle of a field. Well, there is a great big field in front on it, and I kind of feel like i am in the country here.

Today, I went out to grab a bite, and this is what the parking lot looked like:

There were Tumbleweeds EVERYWHERE.......EVERYWHERE.....Blowing all over the parking lot and streets. It was crazy....

Girl Talk

I was on a trip to the metropolis of Twin Falls. We had a Christmas Party at a local Bistro and lo and behold I run to the bathroom and find this on the door:

Hmmmm. I wonder what the heck they mean by "Unique Design". I bet you are wondering too, and you won't have to wait much longer because here we go:

That is right. It gives a whole new meaning to taking your girl friends to the bathroom with you. Thank goodness SOMEONE is taking down walls and building proverbial bridges. No place better to start than the Ladies Room.

Binge and Purge

Not like a bulimic person.

I decided that I have spent a lot of years binging on things and stuff and must haves.
I keep (now, kept) things for a number of reasons:
1) Just because "you never know" when you might need a vast odd collection of mismatched hair doo dads, or that growing unmatched sock collection.
2) Just to HAVE stuff.
3) Hurting feelings. What if by some off chance that Chinese restaurant waitress, upon learning that we had just gotten married, gave us a hideous crystal frame right there on the spot and what if they stop by and want to see it? Five Years later and 2000 miles away?
4) Good Intentions. (Oooo, I can make something really crafty out of these scraps of paper and old bank statements)
5) Genetics. I come from a long line of pack rats. It is true, isn't it, Kaintie?

So, basically, my brother gave me a great idea. I don't have to KEEP everything. I can have a limit of the things that mean a lot to me, then I can take PICTURES, post them on a site like FLICKR and then write about what they meant to me and why. I don't have to keep and keep and keep for the sake of keeping and having. I can reminisce when I want and look back, but I don't have to keep....

Although, my friends son did name me Liz Keeper a few months ago. A name that hopefully means I am a keeper, not that I keep things around....

New Year, New Resolutions

1. Blog more.
I don't know if you have noticed, but I haven't blogged in like forever. One of my posts, now erased and put in the vault forever, offended someone and I hung up the keyboard. Two lessons: 1) I can't make everyone happy (although I am a born pleaser) and 2) Sometimes it is okay to edit your thoughts as to not ruin relationships. So, if you are reading, I am sorry.

2. Eat Less. Move More
Always one, for everyone, right?

3. Not Kill Lucy Macaroni
We got a puppy, Lucy Macaroni, a Cairn Terrier. I vow not to kill her. This will be a hard one, as she is a puppy, and a little hyper since we changed her food to a natural one, but now that it is written, it will be done. Or not done. Whatever.

4. Less TV.
We don't watch a lot anyway, but watching even less won't hurt, right?

5. Take more pictures
Since we have been married, I think there are like 5 pictures of my sweetie and I. What? So maybe I will snap a few more this year.

6. Read more Books
I do read a lot. My Darling Husband calls me a Nerd. I call my self Well Read and Smart Because I Learn Things From Reading. My friend posts on a website called GoodReads where you can post your impressions and thoughts on books you've read and send them to your friends and fancy schmancy stuff like that. Nerd Heaven. Welcome, and you are welcome for introducing you. Now, people like my sister and her best friend won't have to meet at Barnes and Noble, wander through the stacks and taking turns, pointing out books, and saying "Read It" "Read It" "Read It" (as in the past tense) and they REALLY did that. That is not a joke.

7. Be More Sassy
I know, this is a hard one. But seriously, I started a few days ago by using my Crest White Strips, Professional Strength. A few months ago, I mean, like 4 or 5, I got a 50$ credit at my dentist for referring a friend to them. I used that to buy a 21 day supply of strips, so my teeth could catch up in sassiness. Well, for 4 or 5 months they have been sitting in my bathroom. Why, you ask, when I have the Sassy Tools so close at hand, do I not utilize them? Simply because I don't like stuff on my teeth, and I am glad I waited because I DREAD putting them on. It is the WORST THING EVER. But, the sacrifices we must make.....

That is all for now. That is a LOT to work on. Wish me the Best of Luck.

Mondays....

Four people, four of my 11 secretaries called in sick today. that is 36% of my staff have called in sick. Luckily, I have been able to shuffle things around and be creative, but right now I am covering at a clinic, and all I have to say is that I am so THANKFUL that I am not a secretary full time again. I like my freedom and the diversity that my job offers.

Bad things come in Threes

So I am going to report on Cali in one second....I am not at my normal computer and the pictures I wanted to put in the vacation day two post are on the other computer, but I have something very important to say, so listen up.
I understand that things happen in threes. I don't know if it is an old wive's tale or just a pessimistic look at life, but I only notice the Bad Things happening in Threes. Here is out latest experience with this:
Our Car. yes, the cute one we just bought in July. I thought brand new cars weren't supposed to give you trouble. Here goes.

Exhibit 1): I went to get our second oil change. Commerical Tire had given us a $20 gift certificate and I decided to go there to save a buck or twenty. I went, they changed it, everything was fine. That was a few weeks ago on a Thursday around 4:00. Friday about 1:30 I am driving back to work and my car starts freaking out, it won't accelerate, it is making an noise that cars just don't make. The oil light comes on. I call Commercial Tire immediately. They come, add THREE + QUARTS of oil to my car, take it, and decide that someone didn't put the oil filter back on correctly, so all the oil drained out of my car in less than 24 hours. I took the car to Dennis Dillion Mazda right away. They told me to bring it back on Monday and they did some tests on it to make sure nothing was wrong. They charged Commercial Tire 300 bucks. The thing I thought was funny was that Commercial Tire has an ACCOUNT with Dennis Dillion. Hmmm... I called all the sites I was at that day and asked them to look where I had parked. They were like: I can't exactly leave the desk, but from here I can see a HUGE puddle outside. I only drove about 20 miles before all the oil had drained out.

Exhibit 2): The next Thursday. Yes, I mean three days after I get my car fixed because of the Oil Thing, I am driving down the road toward my work and an older woman Crashes into me. She was stopped at a stop sign, I was cruising down the raod, and when I entered the intersection, she just RAMS me on the passenger side. RAMS ME. T Bone Style. She tought it was a one way and just looked one way before she tried to proceed straight through the intersection. RAMMED. Kyle and I drive the Mazda BACK to Dennis Dillion. Three Days after I had it in the for the Oil Incident. They fix the car, I get it on Monday, about three weeks later.

Exhibit 3): On Monday, we picked up the car from Dennis Dillion. I was so excited to have the car back. Fixed and beautiful and I didn't have to drive the rental anymore and I was all relaxed because I had just come back from California. On Tuesday, Valentines Day, we met at Outback Steakhouse, had dinner, then went to find a movie at Circuit City or Best Buy. We found one. I was getting on the freeway and I hear this loud bang on the windsheild. I was like, crap, I totally just got a chip in my windshield, but I couldn't see the chip point. Thursday, or yesterday, I was driving my car to a site that is being built so I could see it and lo and behold I have a HUGE CRACK across my windsheild. What the heck? So we have to get that replaced now. Raaar. Insane, that is what I say. I just don't understand.

So, since we have had three things happen, we don't have to worry about anything else happening to our car, RIGHT?

Cali-ganza Day One

As most of you know, I went to California for a little Vacation!! I had so much fun! I love it there in February because while it is Snowing in Boise, it is beautiful in California. I don't think I want to live there full time, though. I like seasons and to be able to put on a coat and play in the snow and stuff. But, I did have a blast.
Day One: February 7th: I got on the plane, finally at about 1:30. I was supposed to leave on 9:40, but due to a glitch in the ticketing system, I didn't get to leave until 1:30. I was very sad, but a TCBY in the SLC airport really took the edge off. As I was walking down the "hall" to my gate, there was this little girl, probably about three, who was walking with her mom next to me and she COULD NOT take her eyes off of my TCBY. It really made me want to give it to her. She didn't beg her mom for one, or point at it and whine, she just kept walking and looking at it with this positively precious look of want. It turned my day around. I got onto the plane and as we were getting ready to land, the pilot mentioned that there were some fires in the area and if we looked out the window, we would be able to see them. I was able to see some flames on some hills, as well as some HUGE houses. How do people affords houses like that in CA, I will never know.

I flew into Orange County Airport at about 4:30, where shortly after Miss Debbie R., came and picked me up. I was waiting outside for her, and I kept thinking, is this weather normal? It is so beautiful, there are palm trees outside of the airport, blowing in the warm breeze. All I am saying is that the airport was really beautiful....So backstory: Growing up we were close friends with another family, they had six kids, we had four. Four of their kids were all the same age as me and my siblings and we all became "Best" Friends. Lots of traveling together, hanging out, getting into trouble and having sleepovers. IT was good times growing up. So that is Miss Debbie, the fabulous mother or our "best" friends. It was so good to see her again. I had just seen her in August in GA when we was visiting my parents, then Kyle and I also went to see my parents..
Anyway, she picked me up at the airport, we went and had dinner and chatted and then she drove me "Across the Ortega" to the Temecula area. She had a meeting, then we met her daughter Tawnie for dessert. She is so funny! Then I saw the Dance Studio, then we went to Debbies and I went to sleep. It was a great relaxing beginning to my trip.

It was the most fun! It was great talking with Debbie about life and what her children are doing now and everything.

How come I wake up at the wrong moment????

I don't know why it is, but I keep dreaming these amazingly suspensful dreams. I don't know if I wake up and then go back to sleep and in that time when I go back to sleep my mind is at its most adventurous, or what, but I have these dreams that are suspenseful and crazy and full of running for my life. BUT right before I come to that pivotal moment of life or death in this suspenseful menagerie of dream land....I wake up. And the dream is gone. Then I am left all day wondering what would have happened. Did I run fast enough to avoid the danger? Did the bullet hit me? Did the bad guy capture me or was I able to karate kick the crap out of him? I will never know. It is like my mind KNOWS when I have to be fully awake and alert and then it times everything backward so it starts at precisely the moment that when the climax comes, I will wake up.

So, either I hate myself and constantly want to feel unfinished and incomplete, or I have a great imagination and can make up the ending in my waking hours. But it is never good enough, and that feeling of living in a different time and being an AWESOME karate master is over and the ending that I think up is always lame, compared to the ending I probably would have dreampt up.

The End.

That is it.

Dr Pepper

I am sadly addicted. To Dr. Pepper. I don't really know why. Sometimes I have this amazing will power to not want a DP. It lasts for like half a day, then when I am presented with the opportunity for a little soda drink, I just can't deny myself the cool refreshment. For example, today I was reading Rachel H's blog and she was just making mention of DP and I was like, hmm, that sounds tasty. The madness must stop!

I have tried to stop twice. The first time was 1996-1997. It was pre kidney transplant and I wanted to give Kathryn a soda-free kidney, since she doesn't drink the stuff at all herself. Let's just say that year I pounded some serious Hawaiian Punch. Then, post surgery, with that soda free kidney out of my body, I folded and bought some cream soda. I think I was like 6 days post surgery, and the craving won over. Second time was last year. I didn't drink any of The Soda(that means no soda at all, no DP, no DDP, no coke, no cream soda, no club soda, no ginger ale, absolutely nothing with Carb-O-Nation) for about 6 months, from August to February. Then I got sick to my stomach, and needless to say, I folded and had a little coke, to, as my gram would say "settle my stomach". It has been a serious downhill roller coaster ever since. I just can't find a good time to stop. But it must be soon!!!

So. Maybe today will be my last day for a soda. I have secretly been saying that for like 6 months. So, as I am sipping on my "last" DP, I say to all who read: Give me some strength and Will power to stop this madness....and like recovering alcoholics and drug addicts, if everyone would be so kind as to not make mention of DP in my presence, that would be great...until tomorrow, that is......

The Grocery Cart

So. The other night I had to go the grocery store. I did not want to go to the grocery store. I don't really like the grocery store. Don't get me wrong, I like food. But the grocery is a whole other story. I think that it is because it seems so huge. It seems like I have to do a bunch of grocery shopping at once, especially when I go to a store like Winco. For ya'll who aren't part of the NW culture, the WINCO is a lot like Food for Less, etc. Or No Frills in Canada. They spare EVERY expense. You know, you bag your own food, it is like a huge warehouse, etc. But the prices are SOOO much lower! So, I have to go to the store. Kyle advises me not to go. I think, okay, I won't, Then I think, I have to or we won't eat. So I go. I go through the whole store, fill up my cart with goodies, then go to the cashier.

She rings me up. She wants about 80 bucks. I think, okay. So I go to grab my check book. Part of this whole giving us food for less and not charging us crazy amounts for food is accepting only cash and checks. That is it. NO debit cards. No credit cards. Nothing convenient like that. So I flip to the back of my check book. No checks. crap.

So the lady points to this generic tiny stupid little ATM in the corner and says I can get money from that. I try. And try. and try. and try and try and try. Needless to say, for some reason, my bank won't give me any money. I am pretty mad by now. The manager comes over to see what the problem is. The stupid store, in cutting all expenses to bring me a lower price, has a DIAL up ATM machine. Hence the wait and the ATM not working. Then my bank thinks some criminal has my card and is trying to get out hundreds of dollars, so I am sure it won't give it to me anyway. So I say, "well, I guess I can run home and get some money or more checks" and he says, oh okay, I will put your grocery cart in the refridgerator and keep it cold while you do that. First of all, this must happen a lot. Second of all, they have big fridges.

So I leave. I call Kyle. I am mad. He says come home. I say, no I will try again. He says just come home. I say, No I will drive to the bank and to the ATM that is connected to the bank instead of to some cinderblock at the cheap store. He says, just come home. I say, I will if this doesn't work.

I drive to the bank. I try to take 100 bucks out first (I think the total was 82 bucks or something, and since I can only get denominations of 20, I must round up to the big Franklin). The ATM denies. I try 80. Denied again. 60? Nope. But it does give me 40. So then I think, well I will just do that again. I try 40. No chance. Then I try 20. It does give me 20. So now I am sitting in my car with 60 bucks. I just need 20 more. I try again. No go. Now I am really mad. My own bank won't give me money that I KNOW I have in there and that I need to go back and buy my poor little groceries so we can eat......

So I go home. I abandon the cart in the fridge at the Winco and just drive straight home. I guess sometimes I just need a brick to hit me over the head with the message:
1. Kyle tells me not to go.
2. I have no checks.
3. After 6 attempts the stupid little ATM won't give me the moola I seek.
4. Kyle tells me to go home.
5. The ATM at my bank won't give me the right amount.

How many signs? Like 11.
Hello!
And that is how I came to abandon my grocery cart. Do I feel guilty? I don't know.....

The Firing

Two Sundays ago, the bishop's right hand man says, hey the bishop wants to talk to you and your husband, and, JOKINGLY I said "Oh, am I fired" ha ha ha ha ha ha. For a Little History, I have been in Young Women's for a year and I LOVE it there. I love the young women and my calling. I love teaching every week and I really love having fun with them every week. They keep me young and keep things in perspective. Plus they are just all so funny and sweet and GOOD. I can't believe how GOOD they are! Holy cow!! Anyway, so we get to the bishops office and he said I wasn't getting fired, I was getting a promotion. Kyle and I are now Sixth Ward missionaries. I am very upset about the whole thing, to tell you the truth. I don't want to not be in YW anymore. ANd I have been crying ever since. Last Sunday when they released me was a HUGE cry fest. For me at least. And Lori, the YW Pres. I am DYING.....Oh well, c'est la vie, I guess there are better things out there for me...

The Break is Over

I have been taking a break. A self imposed break, I suppose. I just needed to break from the blog and now I am back. I broke for a few reasons. First of all, I have been SUPER busy. Busier than I really wanted to be....since I have come into this position, I have done a lot of things that my previous boss should have, but I got stuck with. ThenI had to hire four new people, so I have been busy cruising all around and training them. So I am barely at a computer to start with and I when I am, I don't feel like spending more time there than I absolutely have to. So, alas, I have a few things to blog about, that ya'll can look forward to with great anticipation.
1) The Subpeona.
2) The New Job.
3) The Grocery Cart.
4) The Firing.

That will get us off to a nice start and get back into the swing of things. I have noticed that the blogging has dropped off significantly for that past few weeks. What is going on everyone?? Where are the faithful bloggers that once were?

Later dudes.

When Will I Ever Learn

I have this uncanny knack of offending people. I don't know what it is....I offended someone super close to me and someone that I totally adore and look up to. And I feel like total crap. This seems to be a pattern in my life. I have done a lot of stupid things, especially lately. And I just want to say. When will I ever learn? I don't know. Probably never. Probably I will keep being a goober. So, dearest friend, close to my heart. I am SO sorry.....

Quickie

Just a quickie. I don't know exactly. So I got this new job. And let's just say I am a bit overwhelmed, since I am still doing my old job and my new job. That has been fun. Here are the highlights of the last two weeks:
1) I have a rhomboid problem!! That is back pain under my left shoulder blade. It sucks like a mother!! It has really been bothering me seriously!!! I would like to chop it off.
2) I love our new car!! It is soooo fun to drive around. I wonder how long that will last?
3) I conducted my FIRST interviews yesterday, and am doing the second interviews tomorrow with these people! I am pretty excited about it all, actually....
4) My job as supervisor is very interesting. I am learning a lot about politics and people.
5). Okay this is a super lame post and I don' t have a lot of time, but I thought I would do something. So that is all I will do for now.....
Later Dudes.

July 5, 2005. A day of infamy

So. I am sorry for not posting for a million years! It has been busy here.....So July Fifth. Kyle started a new job. I got a promotion AND we bought a new CAR!!! A Mazda 3 Five Door. We love love love it! It is super fun and cute too......So I haven't been blogging for two reasons:
Number one: Too busy. Due to my promotion, I have been doing my old job and some of my new job repsonsibilities at the same time.
Number two: We have been cruising around in our new car.
Number three: No good excuse!
Well I don't know. I have to go and do some more work!
Oh, by the way, PrePaid Legal is having a convention on July 16th! Oh my gosh I am sooooo excited!! Hooray! Did I mention that it is in BOISE and I got invited to got FOR FREE! I have just been waiting waiting waiting for an opportunity like this one!!!!

I want to be a Loan Officer when I hear about this stuff...

So, I will leave all names out to protect the innocent and wildly and wierdly stupid....

We , when I say we, I mean, me and Kyle, know someone who wanted to buy a car. So they found a used car. The car originally cost $5,000. They sold some existing stuff, so they only had to borrow $3,000. That is all. But, due to some pre-existing circumstances of let's just say, less than perfect credit issues, they had to settle for a high interest rate. And I don't mean just high. I think the present going rate for used car loans is something like 6%. The Un-named got a loan for 35 %. Yes, 35%....HOLY CRAP. But that is not then end of it. Because of that, their payments are like 300 bucks a month....for I don't know how many years...they have had the car for about 2 and a half. or so. They still owe about 1800 bucks on the car and have had numerous opportunites to pay off the balance, between tax returns, etc. But haven't. We figured it out and they will have ended up paying around $14,000 bucks for this car. Wild and Wierd. Stupid.

It is at times like these that I would like to give out loans at 35%. I could do it...