Wednesday, September 21, 2005

How come I wake up at the wrong moment????

I don't know why it is, but I keep dreaming these amazingly suspensful dreams. I don't know if I wake up and then go back to sleep and in that time when I go back to sleep my mind is at its most adventurous, or what, but I have these dreams that are suspenseful and crazy and full of running for my life. BUT right before I come to that pivotal moment of life or death in this suspenseful menagerie of dream land....I wake up. And the dream is gone. Then I am left all day wondering what would have happened. Did I run fast enough to avoid the danger? Did the bullet hit me? Did the bad guy capture me or was I able to karate kick the crap out of him? I will never know. It is like my mind KNOWS when I have to be fully awake and alert and then it times everything backward so it starts at precisely the moment that when the climax comes, I will wake up.

So, either I hate myself and constantly want to feel unfinished and incomplete, or I have a great imagination and can make up the ending in my waking hours. But it is never good enough, and that feeling of living in a different time and being an AWESOME karate master is over and the ending that I think up is always lame, compared to the ending I probably would have dreampt up.

The End.

That is it.

Monday, September 19, 2005

Dr Pepper

I am sadly addicted. To Dr. Pepper. I don't really know why. Sometimes I have this amazing will power to not want a DP. It lasts for like half a day, then when I am presented with the opportunity for a little soda drink, I just can't deny myself the cool refreshment. For example, today I was reading Rachel H's blog and she was just making mention of DP and I was like, hmm, that sounds tasty. The madness must stop!

I have tried to stop twice. The first time was 1996-1997. It was pre kidney transplant and I wanted to give Kathryn a soda-free kidney, since she doesn't drink the stuff at all herself. Let's just say that year I pounded some serious Hawaiian Punch. Then, post surgery, with that soda free kidney out of my body, I folded and bought some cream soda. I think I was like 6 days post surgery, and the craving won over. Second time was last year. I didn't drink any of The Soda(that means no soda at all, no DP, no DDP, no coke, no cream soda, no club soda, no ginger ale, absolutely nothing with Carb-O-Nation) for about 6 months, from August to February. Then I got sick to my stomach, and needless to say, I folded and had a little coke, to, as my gram would say "settle my stomach". It has been a serious downhill roller coaster ever since. I just can't find a good time to stop. But it must be soon!!!

So. Maybe today will be my last day for a soda. I have secretly been saying that for like 6 months. So, as I am sipping on my "last" DP, I say to all who read: Give me some strength and Will power to stop this madness....and like recovering alcoholics and drug addicts, if everyone would be so kind as to not make mention of DP in my presence, that would be great...until tomorrow, that is......