One Month Old

Dear Junior Birdman....

I know, weird that we call you that. We have called you that since you first came home....you know, like "Where's Junior Birdman?" "Oh, he's in his room, reading a book" or "Hey, have you seen Junior Birdman?" "Oh, he's online again, researching colleges"...

I want to start documenting your progress by the month. So, I am late for this month...but I regret not doing more documentation when you were in my belly, so I really want to make up for it here.

Being your mom has really been amazing. And crazy, different, insane, and rewarding. I remember saying in my Prenatal Water Aerobics class: I can take such good care of him now, inside my belly, but when he comes out, what the heck do I do? Well, I quickly found out that the answers are inside. And it just comes naturally as I look at your sweet face.....

This month you have made a lot of progress....like, learning how to eat. Wow that was painful. But I think we have a hang of it now, and it works pretty good! If I don't immediately read your hunger cues and take care of business, you freak out. You get that from me. So I totally understand why hunger=total freak out. You LOVE your food. Which is definitely reflected in the fact that you are chubbing RIGHT OUT. You wore Newborn clothes for the first few weeks. Then all of the sudden you started gaining weight and busted out of those. You are definitely getting Roundish! At your five day check up, you weighed 8 lbs. One Week Later: 8 lbs, 13 ozs. 13 ozs. in ONE WEEK. It is expected for newborns to gain 6 ozs a week. You are totally The Newborn Valedictorian of Weight Gain.

And you follow us with your eyes now. It is fun to see you interact with us a bit, since most of the time you are sleeping....

Sleeping: You do that really really well. You are a NOISY sleeper. So LOUD. Grunting and groaning and sighing. We swaddle you at night, and my favorite part of the morning is when we unwrap you and you take ten minutes to stretch. You throw your little arms above your head and S-T-R-E-T-C-H your little heart out. We used to take naps together in the morning on my bed for a few weeks, but I can't nap anymore because you are so loud....sometimes I put my hand on your belly so you know I am close and you usually quiet down. I like to think it is because you know I am there, but I think it just distracts you from whatever you are dreaming about and grunting at.

You hold your head up like a champ. If I hold you upright on my chest and you aren't feeling restfull, you will hold your head up and look at me, or look around.

You like Tummy Time. You like to eat. You like to be cuddled. I love Cuddling you and couldn't put you down for the first week I had you all to myself. I just sat on the couch and cuddled you. Your little chair or swing didn't see much action that week. I barely got a shower.

Your grandparents LOVE YOU. On both sides. They love to hold you and kiss you and love you. Your Grandma and Grandpa Kieffer came to visit after you were born and they couldn't get enough of you! How can you blame them? Grandma Jensen loves you so much and misses you and Grandpa Millard just holds you and looks and looks and looks at you....You are definitely the star of the show and I have learned, it isn't about me any longer.

You are the best baby. I am so excited to be your mama. And, as I keep telling you "Mama Loves You".

Love,

Mama

Welcome Junior Birdman

Well, he came. It was awesome. It has been awesome. It is awesome. Five weeks later, I am totally in love with the little guy.

I don't know how anyone gets anything done. I just want to stare at him and cuddle him EVERY SINGLE MINUTE....

We affectionately refer to him as Junior Birdman. I don't really know why, exactly, but that is what I will refer to him on this website, as to protect his anonymity. You know, from stalkers and the like.

Here are some pictures:

Right after they yanked him from my belly...

A few hours old, after his first bath....

At home, a few days old...

One week old...

Two Weeks Old...

Now he is chubbier...more on that tomorrow.

Light at the End of the Tunnel

It is This Thursday. That is D Day.....

We went to the doc today. I am at 4 cm. Which is great, but come on baby, L-E-T-S-G-O Let's Go Let's Go! I had a minor breakdown this weekend about him not coming.

Now, I know you are thinking, as is EVERYONE "you aren't due until tomorrow" And that is why I promptly punch you in the nose.

Three weeks ago, I was at a 2 and the doc said, hmmmm, I bet you won't make it 2 weeks.
2 weeks later she says (on Thursday) wow, you are at a 3.5, I bet you won't make it past the weekend.
It is the anticipation and excitement and let down that is killing me. Because I thought for sure he would be here by now. Especially with medical expertise backing that up!

That and everyone at work saying such helpful things like "WOW you are STILL here?" and "I didn't expect to see you here this late" and "How are you feeling, besides Huge". Well, I will tell you how I am feeling: Like filliping the bird to anyone that says things like: "Oh, with a boy, you could have two more weeks" or "I was stuck at 2 cm for like 3 or 4 weeks" or "I thought you would have been done by now" or "Have you dropped? I don't think you have", or the sweet old bag in the elevator that asked if I was having twins. Twins. I took her cane and hit her in the knee.

Anyhoo, we scheduled an induction on Thursday if nothing happens before then. I would be totally freaking out if I didn't have that bright spot of hope in my life....

Here's to Gram and Thursday: L-E-T-S-G-O!

Smugglin Pumpkins

My sister asked me if I was bigger in the belly area than when she was visiting in July.

I should say so....

Oh and another thing....

Feel a bit weird about riding around with an empty carseat in my car.
So, in order for that carseat to be filled, here are Things I've Been Doing to Get This Kid Moving:


1. We went on a long #$% walk the other day along the lovely Boise Greenbelt. Most of the reason it ended up being about two miles, is we were looking for a bathroom, and instead of turing back, said to ourselves: There has to be one around this bend. There was, a mile later.....so more walking, I think...right?


2. Sitting on The Ball. Rumor has it this will help. So far, I have just been bouncing around.


3. Eating Spicy Foods. Do Chili's Boneless Buffalo Wings count?

4. Getting a Pedicure. I got a sweet gift card to a local spa and am going to get the Deluxe Floating Feather Pedicure. Here is the Divine Description:

Deluxe Floating Feather® Pedicure: 75-minute treatment. This ultimate pedicure starts off with a relaxing foot soak and includes nail grooming, cuticle maintenance, and oil massage of the cuticles. An exfoliating scrub is rubbed on the feet and the calves followed by an extended foot massage. The feet are then dipped into a paraffin wax followed by a foot mask. This refreshing treatment is finished with a polish application.
Sounds Divine to me. I will let you know how that goes!

5. I finished things at work that were hanging over my head. FINISHED I said. The stress should be gone, no? PS I even went into work late today. And left early (mainly due to paint fumes and did not want to get the child high before he even comes into this world).

6. There are "other" ways, but I will not post about them, as I know you are all innocent. Not saying we have tried them or anything, just sayin....

Any ideas out there??

Is he ever coming???

That is my question for the day.
I don't think he is.
I think I am stuck being pregnant for the rest of my life.
And huge.

Ankles: What the hey?

We went to a concert last night.

Great music.

Lots of standing.

Lots.

During this pregnancy, my ankles and feet have stayed REALLY close to regular size. Surprisingly.

Then this week, they decided to start to swell a bit here and there. Then last night, post-concert they looked like this:

Please notice how my knees are "normal". Then my ankles are like twice the size. That is exactly what it looked like. My shoes BARELY came off. With a bit of Pam. And a bit of tugging.

Pregnancy PERKS

There are a few perks to being pregnant.

I read in a magazine that one lady told her husband that the smell of dishwashing detergent made her sick while she was pregnant, so she couldn't do the dishes. I haven't gone that far.

A few perks:

• Everyone thinks you look cute, even though you resemble a whale


• You can wear the same clothes in a week, because everyone understands that you just don't want to buy that many prego clothes


• People look at you and smile


• Sometimes they hold the door for you, or carry heavy things for you, or offer you a chair, or water. Only offer you water, and no one else in your group. Ahh the joy!

But the best perk? Chili's Salsa.

After swimming class, sometimes I cruise by Chili's and get some chips and salsa. I don't know where else you can get a bag of chips and some salsa for $2.99. Plus, I LOVE the stuff. I just get it to go and then pig out. A few times that I have called, I have asked for extra salsa, and said "it's because I am pregnant and I LOVE it. I will even pay more for extra salsa". They usually just give me an extra tub or two.

On Monday when I called, I said, I am pregnant and I love the stuff. This was the conversation that ensued between Andrew, the Holder of Salsa, and I:

-I Love your Salsa. I am pregnant and I need an order to go. Stat.

- Oh great. That is so awesome. Babies are great. How far along are you?

-About 32 weeks. Now...about this salsa thing....

-Wow. My wife had a baby last year and she loved Chili's Black Beans and Queso Dip. We have an 8 month old. She is the cutest thing and so much fun....

- Cool. Wow. Back to me and my needs. I LOVE the salsa and can't get enough. I need some to go, but can I get extra? Like a LOT of extra? And a Straw. Or just a straight IV into my arm?

-Of course, crazy pregnant woman.

This is what was waiting for me when I arrived:

Yes, each tub was individually labled for each month:

Viva la Chili's!

Gigantic Proportions

I have reached a milestone. Hugeness

Mowin Green

Our new house has the cutest lawn. It is tiny. And perfect.

We came from a rental house, where the lawn went on as far as the eye could see and we spent mad money trying to keep that thing alive. Kyle spent hours mowing, and watering, and re-positioning the water spickets to ensure optimal coverage. But to no avail. I took a chunk of that dastardly lawn to Zamzows, a local Grass, Flower, and Pet store. Cause "Nobody Knows Like Zamzows" and the dude said "huh, this is carpet grass. Basically, if it gets too hot, it kills itself, then reseeds." Turns out, our suicidal lawn was sick of the heat and dying off, no matter how much water we put on it.

We walked by that house the other day. It is up for sale, no one lives in it and the lawn looks HORRIBLE, so we beat our fists against our chests, and cried a lot for the money we poured down the drain for the last two summers. C'est La Vie.

Onto our new lawn: Hooray! It is only about 700 square feet TOTAL. It is tiny and perfect and cute. A bit patchy, but I can live with that!!!

Kyle's dad gave us his old lawn mower after we moved in:

He was so nice. He spent hours cleaning and oiling that thing. Even cut his finger in the process. It worked one week. Then stopped working the next week. So we cruised to Home Depot and got a Reel Mower. With no motor. Just pure push power. We are SO going Green.......

When Kyle mows with it, the neighbors all look at him with wonder. And I am just glad our lawn is so cute. And tiny. And perfect.

Ole One Kidney

So, yes, once upon a time 11 years ago today, I got my kidney ripped out of my body, and it was placed gently into my sister's body. Hence the motto of my blog: Half the Kidneys, Twice the Fun. It was an experience full of fun, craziness, and lots of presents (thanks everyone for all the presents). The nurses ripped me out of bed 12 hours after being sliced in half to weigh me. I got a sweet 9 inch scar. The Dean of Students at my college called me every Wednesday to see how I was doing. I got a nice bottle of pills to take home with me. Thanks to cable, I could watch 3 hours of 90210, straight. Every time I stood up, I could feel all of my insides swishing around trying to find a new home. I slept a lot. Oh, and my sister got to pee again. So that was good. No, that was great. She didn't puke nearly as much anymore and she actually got real color in her cheeks, not that crap from CoverGirl she would swipe on her face. That was the best part.

But the second best part? The drugs right before the surgery. They put this epidural in me. Then shot it full of some happy koolaid. I was higher than high. It was feeling good. I had no idea what was about to hit me. There is a picture of me and Kathryn right before surgery. It was after I had the sweet elixir of morphine, and before Kathryn had any drugs. The picture looks a lot like this:

Hope your (or technically, mine) kidney has 11 more years of fun and sassiness, sis!

Bathing Suit

For my Prenatal Water Aerobics class, I have been wearing the ghetto-est get-up available. Partly because I am cheap. And partly because I haven't had the heart to buy a new swimsuit until I got a bit bigger....and knew it would fit the whole time.

The Old Outfit: A shiny black, hideous WalMart special that was like 12 bucks and is now stretched to the max, paired with a lovely pair of Carolina Blue Boy Boardshorts from Old Navy that I have had for probably 10 years now....I think I took them to Mexico in 1998....

I took a picture the other dayLately, because the belly have gotten big, pulling up the swim suit has involved a lot of deep squats and odd contortions in the changing room. The Shorts now cannot be enclosed with the velcro enclosure, and I have to roll down the top of the shorts a few times, secure with some crazy boy scout knot on the ties, and hop in the pool really quick to avoid being seen by anyone I work with (did I mention these classes take place at my place of work??? How insane am I, really?)

The New Swimsuit: I got bottoms from one store (a skirt with bottoms attached) and a top from another, and when I mentioned that to my lovely husband, he said :I don't understand, you had to buy two parts at two different stores???. I know....

So I took this picture of me in my new swim suit:

Hooray for modern photo taking!

I don't really know why I am smiling. I guess just smiling through the pain.....Today will be the first time I wear it in the pool. I hope it stays on and doesn't fly off my body, but with my luck, you never know.....

Wake Up Calls: Two in one week.

So I got a wake up call in my hotel this week when I was in Nashville. That was exciting, as my morning voice sounded kind of like a witch and the lady hung up really fast so I couldn't cast a spell on her.

But the other wake up call I got? The more exciting and slightly depressing one? Saturday Kyle and I were walking downtown, cruising around and I caught a glimpse of myself in the huge window of a store, walking down the street, like from the side.

This is what it looked like, like this could be a real picture I took that day it is so life like: (mind you, this is really the first time I have seen myself in action, from a side view)

Swimming Lessons

So I decided to be proactive in this whole "Can't Fit Into My Clothes Anymore" thing and take some prenatal exercise classes. This week I started a round of Water Aerobics for the Pregnant and Huge Feeling Whale-Like Lady. Hooray!! I am going Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday and I might even sign up for Prenatal Yoga and really rock out my body. Hooray...

Sidenote: Funnily enough, I thought I would feel better about buying a maternity swimsuit than a regular swimsuit (which I have a massive allergic reaction to each and every time~ha). I was wrong. I still had the allergic reaction which involved something like watery eyes, crying and hyperventilating.

So it is fun. The ladies are all pregnant and look all cute and fun and I just look on the chubby side (I know you are all thinking "but it is for a good reason, you are growing a little baby inside of you, it is CUTE"...I know I know I know...but it is still hard and Kyle is still getting sick of me saying "Do you think I am still cute? huh? Do you? Today more than yesterday? or less than yesterday??? huh huh huh????" Hopefully he'll make it through this whole thing still in love with me and hopefully I will make it through an evening at home without falling asleep at 8:15. We'll see.

Pregnancy: Weeks 21 and 22

Oh dear, this has been a more eventful two weeks than all of the other weeks combined


1. Found out we are having a Boy....hooray!!

2. Decided on NOT calling it Bruce anymore, out of fear that it will stick, which we NEVER intended...


3. After the UltraSound, Skeletor is a much more appropriate name..See what I mean?

The doctor came into the room after the US and really didn't have much to say....because so far he is PERFECT!!

4. Celebrated my first mothers day for real, kind of for real at least!

5. Grew THREE inches in ONE week. What???? THREE INCHES~!!!! What kind of insanity is that????

6. Still keeping the impending name choices for Skeletor a secret and it is KILLING our moms...sorry moms! We love you still!!! They are good names, you don't have to worry.

7. Speaking of names...You can comment on potential names! That would be rad. We are having a hard time, and have whittled it down to three or four, but still aren't sold on any of them....

8. Got a mattress for the crib. Organic filled so little Skeletor won't be sleeping on formaldehyde soaked cotton.

9. Back at "fighting weight" as the doc called it....

10. Discovered that people patting my growing belly isn't as cute as they think it is.

Recap: Week 20

Hungry hungry Hippo.
Little bit of Rage.
Hungry.
Threw up for the first time!
Haven't felt little Bruce move yet.
Starting to show more.
Not as sleepy, but still sleepy.
More anxiety.
Looked into Day Cares. Got depressed.
More Hungry.

Goodbye, Old Friend

To some of you, it may come as a shock that this weekend, I said goodbye to an old friend

And hello to a new one:

It was a good 20 years, wasn't it?

Sweetest Girl Ever

Last time I was at Kyle's sister's house, Iwas sitting with the nieces and nephews and we were talking about things I would need for Bruce (my favorite toy mentioned : a three car train that hooks together and moves around the floor) and names for Bruce if it was a girl or boy. Before I left, I told them I needed them to continue to brainstorm names.

Maddy, my 8 year old niece totally took it to heart. Kyle and I cruise over to visit last night and Maddy had done the follwing:

1. Kept a running list on a piece of paper of Boy and Girl names, polling her family and friends for good names.

2. Handed each member of her 2nd grade class a white square of paper and polled them for names too. They each (mostly) wrote down and girl and boy name. She is SO thoughtful! Example: One of her cousins fell from her bedroom window and broke some bones. Maddy also had her class make the cousin Get Well Cards and mailed them to her.

Sweet and thoughtful Maddy.

In honor of Mother Earth and Babies

We saw this book at Fred Meyer the other day, and I want it: It talks all about how to raise your baby in a more organic environment, as well as has hot tips on cool baby gear etc. Maybe one day I will get it....or just rent it from the library....

The High Chair

As I am with child, I get a lot of unsolicited advice. Like, "Oh you are going to HATE being pregnant in the summer", and "Wow, your life is NEVER going to be the same", or like my NP said at my last check up appt, while listening to the heartbeat and trying to discount the old wives tale that Girls Have Faster HeartBeats, said "It's only 50 percent accurate". I was like, really? 50?

So, basically I am saying, I am used to it. I am going to post some products I am interested in looking into further for Little Bruce, and all I can say is Bring On the Advice...let me know what you like/dislike etc.

First: The High Chair. This is the one I want. I don't think I can be persuaded in any other direction, so here goes;


The Stokke Tripp Trapp High Chair.
I am really excited about this high chair because of the following reasons:

1. The kid can sit at the table. With everyone else.

2. The Seat and Foot rest are adjustable and can grow with Little Bruce so s/he is comfy when eating.

3. It is compact. This suits our house very nicely, as our house will not really work with a big rolly polly high chair.

4. It comes in an array of FUN colors. and you can get different cushions in different colors for added comfort and cuteness..

5. You can only use it at about 6 months and up, when they are sitting up on their own, but that is AOK with me.

Well....what do you think? I saw this in a magazine probalby three years ago and cut the picture out and pasted in one of my blank books, knowing I wanted it for my littles one day. Hooray for Germans!